2019 was a great year full of so much growth. I was pregnant almost the entire year with another rainbow baby and somehow we still managed to do everything we had wanted to do! We have had far more ups than downs and we have learned how to navigate the difficult days with God's grace. Josh's new job has gone really well and he is succeeding with every task they give him. It has, however, been hard not having him around much as he works so much overtime. But we have been blessed in that I have been able to cut down working to only 1-2 days a week depending on how his schedule is looking (because we have to work opposite shifts) and somehow we have made it all work!
The kids are both doing so well in school and we are incredibly proud of them! Austin had a rocky start to first grade, but has jumped on board since then and is ahead of his class once he decided to put his mind to it! He was even celebrated for achieving his accelerated reader goal before Christmas which is something I honestly didn't think he would actually dig his heels in and do! It has been a good learning experience for us both as I have been the only parent at home to help him with homework, social skills, and feelings etc. He and I are too much alike and continue to butt heads at times, as we always have. But I love that little boy with my whole heart and am so proud of him every step of the way. And he continues to ask me to home school him because apparently he really enjoys our learning time together...even though I tend to see it as far more stressful than anything. I would do it though, for him, if I could figure out how to do it all with a newborn at home. But every time I look at programs, I just get overwhelmed. So I don't think it's in the cards for us buddy. Evie never ceases to amaze us as she jumps into everything head first and comes out successful and at the top of her game! We joke that she is going to be the child who puts us in a pent house nursing home because she is destined to be successful at whatever she decides to become. But it's really not a joke. That girl is going places! Just so long as she doesn't get distracted by all the boys who flock to her..... She is so beautiful and has a tomboy side that attracts them like flies (even at 4 years old) and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Heaven help us....
This whole pregnancy has been a painful experience, but this last month has become especially rough. I can't sleep or eat or breathe for that matter. I'm not sure if my body is just worn out or if this baby is much larger than the other two?? But I am feeling her sweet presence more and more as each week ticks by. I can tell by how extremely active she is that she is going to be a vivacious child! Her Dad really wants to name her Vivian which means "energetically alive" and I do love that name.... but I have a whole list of names that I love and I can't choose one!! So I am praying that when I am holding her in my arms it will come to me. In just a couple days, Janis and Steve will be flying out here to help us with the kids while we go to the hospital and I can't wait! I feel so grateful to have such wonderful in-laws who are always there to help at the drop of a hat! My nesting instincts have been insane this time around and I have had everything washed, prepped, and ready for months now. Even though we usually keep the Christmas stuff up until after New Years, I took it down a couple days after Christmas because I knew I wouldn't have energy like this after the baby is born. It's insane, but despite my sincere pain and lack of energy, when it comes to prepping for the baby, I feel like I can do anything! We have also been having little chats with the kids to get them ready for the emotional roller coaster that is bound to occur. Austin doesn't have much to say on the subject and Evie swears she is going to be the worlds greatest big sister.... I only hope that remains true because she doesn't share her Mom well at all. Like AT ALL......
As I say goodbye to 2019 and embrace the year 2020, I feel exhilarated. Something huge is going to happen this year, I can just feel it! It feels like our Capricorn baby is going to be born at the beginning of a new era.... like some major shifts are about to occur. But in a good way.... There is something magical about her, I can feel it. She already has made us better people and she hasn't even been born yet! :)
I have put a lot of thought into what I want my word to be for this upcoming year, and I have decided it will be: SLOWLY.
Anyone who knows me, knows I go full throttle until I can't go anymore and then I go some more. It has been hard being pregnant because of this. But last years word being "PEACE" has taught me so much as I have searched for peace in my new way of life. But as the new year arises and I am about to have my body back, I need to remind myself to go slowly. To allow my body the grace to heal before I push it to do things I would have normally done before I had this baby. I need to remind myself that it is okay to cocoon myself away while this child is so little and allow Josh to handle life on the outside. And then, when I am ready, to slowly come back out into the world. I won't allow anyone to rush me and have read books on how to do this. I've also read up on holistic soups, teas, and herbs to eat/drink during this time to give my hormones a fighting chance at normalizing and to help heal my body faster. I really want to do it right this time, and with Josh actually having time off with this baby, I am being allowed to do so. If I remember to go slowly.....
Josh had to work on New Years Eve so we waited to start the party until he got home. The kids and I had fun prepping though as we waited! We went POP and got ourselves a fancy soda and a sugar cookie to share. And then we went to the grocery store and picked out all sorts of fun foods to eat at our party! Chips, shrimp cocktail, turkey pinwheel wraps, pumpkin cookies, buffalo wild wings, YOU NAME IT!! Then, once Dad got home, we busted out the Martinelli's and champagne flutes and started our party! We enjoyed our fun meal and kept the food out all throughout the night to snack on. Then the kids danced around the room with streamers and we had fun watching the party going on in NYC and all the funny recaps of things that happened around America in 2019. Even the kids thought it was hilarious and stopped their playing to watch! We weren't sure if the kids would make it to midnight, so we counted down with the ball drop in NYC and blew our horns and poppers! Then we all started dancing around the room and throwing streamers at each other to the music playing in Time Square. Then Josh started a congo line and we laughed so hard as we congoed around the house! The kids thought it was so hilarious and wanted to take turns being at the front of the line :). I laughed so hard this entire night and felt so light and happy :). This was Josh's last day of work before his Paternity Leave starts and we were all finally home together, laughing and having a great time. It was a beautiful salute to 2019 and the wonderful blessings that year brought to us. It was a year of hard work but we are finally sitting pretty and ready to reap the rewards! I still can't believe that our new baby is coming in just 2 more days!!! Life will never be the same, which makes me sad as it is already so wonderful, but also fills me with joy as I imagine just how much more love and fun we can pack in with another little one around the house!
Cheers to another beautiful year that has come and gone, and to a new year that is sure to bring magic!!! :)
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