Happy New Years!! Goodbye 2019 and Hello 2020!!!

2019 was a great year full of so much growth. I was pregnant almost the entire year with another rainbow baby and somehow we still managed to do everything we had wanted to do! We have had far more ups than downs and we have learned how to navigate the difficult days with God's grace. Josh's new job has gone really well and he is succeeding with every task they give him. It has, however, been hard not having him around much as he works so much overtime. But we have been blessed in that I have been able to cut down working to only 1-2 days a week depending on how his schedule is looking (because we have to work opposite shifts) and somehow we have made it all work! 

The kids are both doing so well in school and we are incredibly proud of them! Austin had a rocky start to first grade, but has jumped on board since then and is ahead of his class once he decided to put his mind to it! He was even celebrated for achieving his accelerated reader goal before Christmas which is something I honestly didn't think he would actually dig his heels in and do! It has been a good learning experience for us both as I have been the only parent at home to help him with homework, social skills, and feelings etc. He and I are too much alike and continue to butt heads at times, as we always have. But I love that little boy with my whole heart and am so proud of him every step of the way. And he continues to ask me to home school him because apparently he really enjoys our learning time together...even though I tend to see it as far more stressful than anything. I would do it though, for him, if I could figure out how to do it all with a newborn at home. But every time I look at programs, I just get overwhelmed. So I don't think it's in the cards for us buddy. Evie never ceases to amaze us as she jumps into everything head first and comes out successful and at the top of her game! We joke that she is going to be the child who puts us in a pent house nursing home because she is destined to be successful at whatever she decides to become. But it's really not a joke. That girl is going places! Just so long as she doesn't get distracted by all the boys who flock to her..... She is so beautiful and has a tomboy side that attracts them like flies (even at 4 years old) and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Heaven help us....

This whole pregnancy has been a painful experience, but this last month has become especially rough. I can't sleep or eat or breathe for that matter. I'm not sure if my body is just worn out or if this baby is much larger than the other two?? But I am feeling her sweet presence more and more as each week ticks by. I can tell by how extremely active she is that she is going to be a vivacious child! Her Dad really wants to name her Vivian which means "energetically alive" and I do love that name.... but I have a whole list of names that I love and I can't choose one!! So I am praying that when I am holding her in my arms it will come to me. In just a couple days, Janis and Steve will be flying out here to help us with the kids while we go to the hospital and I can't wait! I feel so grateful to have such wonderful in-laws who are always there to help at the drop of a hat! My nesting instincts have been insane this time around and I have had everything washed, prepped, and ready for months now. Even though we usually keep the Christmas stuff up until after New Years, I took it down a couple days after Christmas because I knew I wouldn't have energy like this after the baby is born. It's insane, but despite my sincere pain and lack of energy, when it comes to prepping for the baby, I feel like I can do anything! We have also been having little chats with the kids to get them ready for the emotional roller coaster that is bound to occur. Austin doesn't have much to say on the subject and Evie swears she is going to be the worlds greatest big sister.... I only hope that remains true because she doesn't share her Mom well at all. Like AT ALL......

As I say goodbye to 2019 and embrace the year 2020, I feel exhilarated. Something huge is going to happen this year, I can just feel it! It feels like our Capricorn baby is going to be born at the beginning of a new era.... like some major shifts are about to occur. But in a good way.... There is something magical about her, I can feel it. She already has made us better people and she hasn't even been born yet! :)

I have put a lot of thought into what I want my word to be for this upcoming year, and I have decided it will be: SLOWLY.
                                                                    

Anyone who knows me, knows I go full throttle until I can't go anymore and then I go some more. It has been hard being pregnant because of this. But last years word being "PEACE" has taught me so much as I have searched for peace in my new way of life. But as the new year arises and I am about to have my body back, I need to remind myself to go slowly. To allow my body the grace to heal before I push it to do things I would have normally done before I had this baby. I need to remind myself that it is okay to cocoon myself away while this child is so little and allow Josh to handle life on the outside. And then, when I am ready, to slowly come back out into the world. I won't allow anyone to rush me and have read books on how to do this. I've also read up on holistic soups, teas, and herbs to eat/drink during this time to give my hormones a fighting chance at normalizing and to help heal my body faster. I really want to do it right this time, and with Josh actually having time off with this baby, I am being allowed to do so. If I remember to go slowly.....

Josh had to work on New Years Eve so we waited to start the party until he got home. The kids and I had fun prepping though as we waited! We went POP and got ourselves a fancy soda and a sugar cookie to share. And then we went to the grocery store and picked out all sorts of fun foods to eat at our party! Chips, shrimp cocktail, turkey pinwheel wraps, pumpkin cookies, buffalo wild wings, YOU NAME IT!! Then, once Dad got home, we busted out the Martinelli's and champagne flutes and started our party! We enjoyed our fun meal and kept the food out all throughout the night to snack on. Then the kids danced around the room with streamers and we had fun watching the party going on in NYC and all the funny recaps of  things that happened around America in 2019. Even the kids thought it was hilarious and stopped their playing to watch! We weren't sure if the kids would make it to midnight, so we counted down with the ball drop in NYC and blew our horns and poppers! Then we all started dancing around the room and throwing streamers at each other to the music playing in Time Square. Then Josh started a congo line and we laughed so hard as we congoed around the house! The kids thought it was so hilarious and wanted to take turns being at the front of the line :). I laughed so hard this entire night and felt so light and happy :). This was Josh's last day of work before his Paternity Leave starts and we were all finally home together, laughing and having a great time. It was a beautiful salute to 2019 and the wonderful blessings that year brought to us. It was a year of hard work but we are finally sitting pretty and ready to reap the rewards! I still can't believe that our new baby is coming in just 2 more days!!! Life will never be the same, which makes me sad as it is already so wonderful, but also fills me with joy as I imagine just how much more love and fun we can pack in with another little one around the house! 

Cheers to another beautiful year that has come and gone, and to a new year that is sure to bring magic!!! :)

Merry Christmas 2019!!!

We had such a beautiful Christmas this year. Well, every Christmas has been beautiful, but this one was different. We chose to simplify this year and not host our yearly Family Christmas party so we could focus on our little family and make it a relaxing day where we woke up to presents, ate yummy food that only had to be popped in the oven (no prep work whatsoever) and just let the kids play with their toys all day! We also spent hours playing board games and just enjoying each others company. It was such a relaxing, special day and it was so nice to not have to hurry and clean up/prep for company right after present opening in the morning. We were allowed to be lazy and just enjoy the day. I honesty don't think we will ever go back... it was just too good. Plus I am literally 9 months pregnant and going to have a baby in a week so it just did NOT feel like the time to host a party. I was even having contractions that night after dinner that forced me to skip clean up and go take a hot bath just from the relaxing day that we had! So I knew that was a good call....

As is tradition, on Christmas Eve we made our cookies for Santa and laid out carrots and reindeer food that Evie had made in Preschool for the reindeer. Austin caught a sickness the previous week right as he was getting out of school for winter break so I have taken both kids to the doctors in a week's time, along with myself when I caught what they had (insert eye roll). So I was pretty worn out from taking care of sick kids but tried so hard to make Christmas magical and special despite my exhaustion. All I can hope is that we got all the illness stuff out of the way before the baby comes! I have been disinfecting the house like crazy so hopefully it helps! Anyway, I kinda got off topic there.... After cookies, we ate our traditional soup and croissants, and then went for a drive around the neighborhood to look at all the Christmas lights! Some people get really into it and it is so fun to see! We also let everyone open up their Christmas Eve gifts which is always pajamas for the kids and we let them open up a toy gift as well. This year we felt the kids were old enough to start buying presents for the family themselves, so Austin got to take money to school and pick out stuff for the family at his Secret Santa Store they were having, and I took Evie to the dollar store to pick out hers :). It was so fun seeing what they picked out for us and for each other and it was so sweet seeing how excited they were to see everyone's reactions to their thoughtful purchases! Such a priceless moment. Then, before bed, we cuddled on the couch together and watched the new Nativity movie that the church just put out and had a nice chat about the meaning of Christmas. The kids were obviously tired and had a hard time sitting still through the movie, but their responses during our conversation afterwards were priceless. It was hard for me to hold back the tears as they shared their feelings and sweet spirits.

Evie got Frozen jammies and Austin got Pikachu. They were so cute in them!

Christmas morning I woke up before everyone (thanks to my annoying pregnancy insomnia that doesn't let me sleep no matter how tired I am) and I got ready and waited until I couldn't wait anymore. So I snuck into Evie's room and woke her up hehe! She excitedly ran throughout the house telling everyone "Wake up! It's Christmas!" and we all ran downstairs to see what Santa had brought us!! :) We were spoiled rotten this year and had so much fun spending all day playing with all these awesome toys!

Austins' big present this year was this giant remote control monster truck that is so powerful it moves our furniture and almost knocked over our TV!! It has officially become an outdoor toy, but Dad and the kids had fun with it indoors that day until Mom couldn't stand seeing her house be destroyed any longer....

The kids were so excited to give Dad this Poop game and we all laughed hard when he opened it :). It was a fun game to play later that day!

Evie's big present this year was a balance bike! She hadn't asked for it, but was so excited when she saw it! She has been zooming around on it ever since thinking she is Evil Knievel and wants everyone to stop and watch all of her tricks! :)

All in a days work, eh Pikachu?!

Mom's present this year was some Buti Yoga workouts I have been dying to get my hands on and a new B-Aligned yoga mat that I have wanted for years but they are so expensive. The mat is sticky to help you with balance and inversions so you don't fall on your face! Can you tell I am done being pregnant and ready to get back into exercise?!! :) These days, just walking or standing is hard work so I can't wait to have my body back to do what I am passionate about..... YOGA!!

Grandma Helm also showed up on Christmas Day to give hugs/kisses and hand out presents :). It was nice to see her and spend some time with her while we watched Christmas movies.

Oh my goodness I look so swollen in this picture! But I had to show the cute baby clothes she got us!

We finished off our Christmas cuddling on the couch and watching It's a Wonderful Life. My heart was so full as I cuddled my babies and felt the kicking of my other baby who is soon to be born! God has been so good to us and I cried many times this day out of gratitude (and hormones ;)).

I was EXHAUSTED the day after Christmas and Dad had to go back to work for the rest of the week (including Saturday) :(. So we spent that day resting and doing all sorts of crafts Santa had brought us! It was a nice, relaxing day and the kids must have been tired too because they were actually quiet as they crafted the day away!

Making homemade bath bombs! Baths were extra fun that night!

Quietly coloring and listening to Christmas music :).

Austin got his very own tool kit this year with real tools in it because he is always asking to use mine!

We built a crane together!

That Saturday, we drove up to St. George for our annual Cooley Family Christmas Party! It was so fun seeing all of our cousins and Aunts/Uncles and playing games together! We ate at Chuck-a-Rama as has become tradition and then went back to Grandma Wiegel's neighborhood club house for the rest of the party! It is so fun now that my sisters and cousins are having babies so our kids have someone to play with now! We all missed Josh, but unfortunately he always gets the crappy shifts due to lack of seniority :(. One thing that was different this year was our stop at the St. George Temple! We took the kids around the visitors center, chatted with the missionaries, and watched the new Nativity Movie that just came out. It was the same movie we had watched on Christmas Eve but the kids didn't complain since it was on a big screen this time ;). It really added a touch of the spirit to our party and I was grateful for that. I love seeing family and having parties, but I also want my kids to know why we truly celebrate Christmas. So this was perfect! I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking :). 

The kids and Grandma Jill enjoying our Christmas buffet feast! Grandma and Grandpa Wiegel always pay for the whole family to eat and that is their present to us, along with the party :). I will sure miss these moments when they eventually become too old to have this party anymore....

Oh Grandma, we sure love you! :) hahaha!

Not everyone was able to go to the temple because it was nap time for some of the kiddos (and almost half of our family has left the church for one reason or another) but we made it special with the people we did have! Oh and the lady at the end next to Grandma is my Mom's new homeless friend that she brought home from the mental ward of the hospital at Thanksgiving time. Her name is Annette and she is a very sweet lady who unfortunately hasn't had the greatest life (hence half of her face being blown off by a gun when her brother shot her).

Uncle Scott teaching the kiddos how to shoot some pool!

Making Gingerbread Houses!

Of course Evie had to bring her new bike so she could show off her new skills! Gracelynn thought it was the greatest thing and followed her around laughing!

Evie and Aunt heidi having their own little dance party to the song "Brown Eyed Girl"

My cousin Nathan and his girlfriend. Like I said, it's so fun now that everyone's growing up and in a similar phase of life as us!

Gathering around the food and chatting!

We played this super fun game where you have to wear a card on your head and people have to act out what it says until you guess the word. It's a lot like charades but backwards and it was so much fun!

My cousin Jayson and his cute wife Hannah.

The kids had a blast just running around the clubhouse together and eating junk food!

Briana and cousin Lara and their sweet baby girls :).

I haven't had much interaction with my Mom lately (as I have explained in a previous post), so the little moments I get with her when she is stable and normal is very precious to me. It breaks my heart that I can't rely on her next week when we have our baby because she is just not in a good phase of life and you never know if she will actually show up. But I am learning to take each dip in the road as a learning experience and to love people for who they are and not focus on what they are lacking. I love you Mama, and hope that someday everything will be better.

Gracelynn worships Evie and ran into her arms the second she saw her, giving her the biggest hug and wouldn't let go! It was so precious!

Playing our fun game and of course the kids had to both sit on my lap with me while I was in the center of the circle....

So then Gracelynn had to copy them when it was Thomas's turn hehe!

My cup floweth over, and my heart could burst open because it is so full! We may not have it all together, but together we have it all. And boy is that not the truth?! As I sit here writing this, we are down to four days until our baby is born and I can't believe it is here! It has been quite a journey this time around and my body has learned what weakness feels like. I have had to learn how to allow grace for my own self during those moments when I just couldn't do what I normally should be able to do. But because of that, I have had experiences and learned things about myself that I would have never learned. This has been such a beautiful year filled with so many experiences and I am so incredibly grateful as I look back on it all.