The Weekly Ten

1) I finished my preceptorship at work, so starting next week I will be a completely independent nurse! I'm scared because it is always nice to have a preceptor nearby to answer questions but I am also excited to have some autonomy!

2) Josh went to lunch with some coworkers and they ended up being seated at the bar because it was so crowded. The funny part of the story occurred when the waitress singled Josh out and carded him. He questioned why he would need to show ID because all he ordered was a Pepsi and she told him he doesn't look old enough to be sitting at the bar with everyone else. He is 30 just in case you were wondering hahaha.

3) We were so excited for Austin to turn 18 months old so he could start going to Nursery, allowing Josh and I to enjoy 2 hours of uninterrupted peace and learning. Oh the ironies of life! We got called into the Bishop's office on Sunday and were asked if we would accept the calling of Nursery Leaders!! We accepted the calling and sadly watched the vision of "adult time" fly out the window. Our ward is huge so there are two nurseries. Austin will be in the younger nursery in the classroom next to us. The Bishop said we could put him in our class if we  wanted to but he loves his teachers and is doing so well with the kids his age. So we are going to leave things as they are.

4) Grandma Helm had knee surgery this week and is doing well. I visited her in the hospital the day after the surgery while a friend in the ward watched Austin. My Aunt Nancy from Texas is staying with her for now and then it will be up to me to continue taking care of her as needed. I love my Grandma and will happily accept the caretaker role, but it feels like just one more stressful thing to add to my crazy life. 

5) Speaking of stress, I have been feeling this overwhelming feeling of anxiety that the baby will be here in two short months and I can't keep up with my life enough to prepare for her! I have a to do list that just keeps growing and growing and there's just not enough time or energy to do it all!! 

6) Austin almost died this week. I'm pretty sure he almost dies every week but this time was especially scary! I was at a friend's garage sale going through her baby girl clothes while Austin happily played with her daughter next to me. Then suddenly I heard the garbage truck coming up the street and just happened to glance in that direction when I saw Austin running out into the street!!! I bolted after him screaming with horrible visions of his tiny body being crushed under those huge tires running through my mind, but he ignored me (of course). The garbage man didn't see him and kept driving, literally almost running him over! I grabbed his arm and yanked him out of the way just as he was within a foot of death and then began yelling "NO! NO!!" over and over at him as my shaking body carried him back to the sidewalk. I have no idea how my fat, 7 months pregnant body got to him in time but I thank God that I did and he is still alive! Well, for now at least. Everybody said boys are fun but they left out the little detail about how hard it is to keep them alive!

7) They've started building homes right in front of our house :(. That means we are losing our beautiful view of the sun setting over the mountains AND construction starts bright and early at 6:00am. I can't even tell you how loud it is! It is so irritating because I get up at 3:00am for work and really depend on my off days to catch up on sleep. Back to that irony thing again!

8) Josh is flourishing at work and has been bringing in a lot of commissions! He has stunned his employer with how fast he has caught on. Apparently you don't normally get your first commission check until you've worked for about 6 months and he got his first check after two weeks!

9) I was going to wait until summer to schedule Austin's 18 month immunizations because he picked up Croup from the doctor's office the last time he got his shots and I will do anything to keep from going through that again. But I changed my mind due to the huge Measles outbreak going on all over the country and made the appointment for next week. Fingers crossed that we can get in and out without bringing any fun germs home. 

10) Allergy season is here!! I have dealt with horrible seasonal allergies my whole life and sadly I passed on that gene to our son :(. The poor baby has had he worst allergies and there is no allergy medicine for kids under 6 years old! The drainage has gone to his lungs and he now has a cough that keeps us all up every night and a runny nose that leaves me chasing him around the house all day trying to suction his nose out! I'm going to have to ask the doctor about it at his immunizations appointment and see if they can make an exception for Benadryl or something. 

Visiting California

My job wanted to sent me on a trip to Newport Beach, CA for a week long training and I wasn't about to complain! I asked if I could bring my baby along with me since a week away from him would be too much. They agreed as long as I brought a babysitter so I asked my Mom to come along too! My sister Sadie also wanted to come for the weekend and then flew back home so she could be back to work by Monday. We were all excited for a little girl-trip and hoped Austin would cooperate :).

Unfortunately, Austin got a double ear infection right before we left so he wasn't in the best of health and then the smoggy, humid California air gave him terrible allergies on top of it which turned into a really bad cough. But we did our best and had fun along the way!

The drive down was a lot of fun because we got to have girl talk for four straight hours which involved reading each others horoscopes and astrological signs, while analyzing why we all are the way we are (hehe). Austin surprised us all by doing a really great job in the car! Seriously, that never happens. We only made two stops and one of them included a pony ride gone wrong but at least Aunt Sadie had a good time haha.

He was so scared!

It felt good to get out and stretch our legs!

We were hungry once we got there so we ate at The Olive Garden which was the point where Austin decided to show his true colors and not let us eat. I had Grandma there to help though so we made through!

He did good long enough to get our drinks....

We were an hour early checking into the Hotel Ayres (which by the way is a GORGEOUS hotel if anyone is ever interested in taking a trip to Newport) so they made us wait until they had the room ready. Luckily there was a beautiful courtyard with a fountain to play in and take pictures :).

It was fun getting some time with Sadie to talk! We are both normally sooooo busy all the time.

He loves his Grandma :).

You have to take a crazy one.....

Attempting to keep the crazy guy from drowning. He would have happily jumped right in!

After we got all settled in, we headed to the beach! We decided to go to Huntington Beach because Sadie said it was much prettier but I think the only real difference from Newport Beach was that it was 15 minutes further down the road. We got there as the sun was setting which was a spectacular experience! Even though the sunset was to die for, Austin was the center of attention (as usual). This was his first beach trip and it was such a funny experience to watch!

He started out the experience with crying when we tried to get him to walk in the sand. He was so upset that his feet were getting dirty! He stood on one toe and did an arabesque with the other leg up in the air, crying for us to get it off of him. This shocked me and yet it didn't at the same time. At home he likes to play in the dirt and is always collecting rocks, but he hates getting dirty at any other time of the day. So if his food is too messy, he will get really upset and refuse to eat. I just assumed he would think the sand at the beach was the same as the sand at home...... I was wrong.

The picture right before the sand trauma began!

Once we got him to calm down and realize that sand can be brushed off and it is actually a really fun thing to play in, we tried moving on to the ocean. I thought he would be excited..... wrong again! We dragged him kicking and screaming to the shoreline!

He tried the dead fish tactic, thinking we would give up....

Then Grandma decided to just pick up the crazy kid and carry him the rest of the way.

Austin's attitude changed abruptly once he saw the ocean! I am so happy we got a picture of his face at that moment because it was priceless! Pure awe and amazement.....

I absolutely LOVE seeing the world through his eyes! Everything is new and exciting!

After that, we were no longer fighting to push him towards the ocean. Instead we were fighting to keep him out of it! He ran right for the water and wasn't afraid to dive right in! His lack of fear scared us to death and visions of him getting swept up in the current flashed through my mind. My back was killing me by the end of the night from bending over the entire time to hold his hand or rescue him. It was a happy pain though because my baby was in heaven and every time I looked out across the ocean at the setting sun and breathed in the salty air, I too was in a state of pure bliss :).

It started getting cold and we were worried about Austin being sick so we dragged him out of the ocean and "borrowed" a football from a group next to us to play catch with on the beach!

He loved it!

The rest of the trip feels like a blur. I went to class during the day and then we played at night. We had planned on going to the beach each night but Austin's cough got pretty bad and we didn't want him to get wet and cold every night so we only made two more beach trips that week. Each was just as fun as the first but this time Austin had no fears of the sand! He learned how to say "ocean" and would run right for the water, happily screaming, "Ocean!" We ate dinner each night at different restaurants but due to Austin, we found it easiest to order carry out and bring the food back with us to the hotel room. His coughing made it impossible for any of us to sleep since we all shared the same hotel room and there was even a point when we almost called it quits and headed home because we were worried it was turning into croup (my worst nightmare!). Luckily that was just an especially bad night and he seemed better the next morning. We all quickly became sleep deprived and were on the verge of tears more than once but we did our best to stay positive and enjoy the moment. It was just so hard keeping him entertained in the hotel room but it was also hard having the energy to continuously chase after him outside of the hotel room! I was at my wits end when he threw the TV remote out the 2 story hotel room window and my Mom was literally crying when Sadie's selfcentered-ness  provided a total lack of help while I was at work. And then there was the moment when Austin learned how to climb out of his Pack-n-Play and we realized we had no way to contain him at night and had to take turns sleeping with him in our beds which never ends happily....... But like I said,  we did our best!

My Mom's birthday fell in the middle of our trip so we celebrated at Surf City Nights! It was an outdoor market right across from Huntington Beach that had live music in the streets, bouncy houses that we paid for and Austin refused to go inside, and LOTS of amazing food! Seriously, the produce was to die for! I told my Mom everything was on me since it was her birthday and we went crazy buying fruit, hummus, salsa, and homemade mini bundt cakes to bring back to the hotel room and sing happy birthday with before we dived into their deliciousness! Another moment when I was in heaven :).

Grandma buying fresh produce!

I don't know why we bothered bringing the stroller because he spent about ten minutes in it and then insisted on pushing it around himself the rest of the night.

Happy Happy Birthday to Grandma! We love you!

Sampling the hummus.

 Earlier that day, while I was in class, Grandma and Austin spent her Birthday at the mall buying Austin presents ;). So typical!!

They went to the Disney Store and played in the children's section. That's where Austin scored his new favorite stuffed animal!

 On another day while I was in class, they played at Chuck-E-Cheese! They also spent a day at the Bird Preserve, looking for birds outside and exploring the museum. If you haven't put two and two together yet, Austin had a lot of fun this trip! I was just sad I had to miss out on most of it :(. I found myself daydreaming during class about all the fun things that were going on without me. But my work paid for basically everything so someone had to pay the price....

Playing around with the photo booth at Chuck-E-Cheese.

This one is my favorite!

Intently driving his car at the arcade.

I was surprised he even got on this horse because of how he reacted a few days prior with Sadie!

Wandering around the Bird Preserve.

Austin found a little stuffed bird to carry around as he explored the museum.

Pretty, huh!

The trip was a blast, but we were happy to go home. Exhausted doesn't even begin to describe it! Austin and I were missing Josh pretty badly. We Faceime'd with him each night and Austin asked for him constantly throughout the week. I hadn't realized how much I take him for granted until I no longer had him right there by my side. He is an amazing Dad and such a huge help with Austin! I would love to say we will be back at the beach soon, but I don't know if there is enough caffeine in the world for that! Maybe in a couple years?

The Weekly Ten

I used to be so good at journal writing. My journal was a friend who listened no matter what I had to say and never judged. No matter what time it was, I religiously wrote down all the events of my day before I went to bed each night. Then I became a Mother.......

Now I feel so exhausted by 7:30pm that even the thought of getting in the shower each night sounds like an insurmountable task. Maybe I'm anemic? Maybe I'm not sleeping as well as I think I am? Maybe it's the pregnancy? Or maybe it's just the normal feeling every Mother feels? Whatever it is, I am lucky if I shave my legs once every two weeks (shhh!) let alone write in my journal. 

However, there are so many things going on in my life that I just don't want to forget! So many thoughts. So many feelings!! So I have decided to try and write in the blog once a week, documenting ten things that I experienced, thought, or just want to remember down the road when I am old and senile (which feels like right now!). Let's see if I can actually keep up with it. Or better yet, let's see if I can even remember what happened two or three days ago......

1)

I suddenly have a constant hankering for fresh fruit, and cucumbers with salt and ranch! I made all sorts of treats for Superbowl Sunday and ended up eating two whole cucumbers instead while Josh and Austin dived into the treats! Yogurt always sounds good too.... I eat at least two Yoplait yogurt cups a day.

2)

We needed to make a trip to Costco today but Austin wouldn't leave the house without his dog! Seriously, he threw a fit until I told him the dog could come. He actually did a great job and allowed me to think straight while I was trying to remember everything we needed so maybe I should let the dog come more often? Later in the parking lot, when I lifted him out of the cart to put him in the car, he wrapped his little arms around my neck, buried his face in my hair, and gave me the biggest hug! It felt like he was thanking me for the fun trip with his companion. His hugs are usually brief, but not this time. I stood there in the middle of the parking lot for a good long time with my baby boy hugging the life out of me until he felt like he was done expressing his love :). I wish I could bottle up that moment and how it felt to be so loved. Then I could always remember that feeling whenever I am stressed, sad, or in the mood to jump off a cliff! 

3) I experienced the deep sadness of knowing our baby was supposed to be born this week. I tried burying the thought deep down in the recesses of my mind, and concentrated on working. But eventually I had to drive home which would give me ample time to think, so I remedied that with singing to the radio and making some phone calls. Then, I came home to my beautiful family and started busying myself with making dinner..... and that's when I broke down. I was in the kitchen chopping something and Josh came up behind me and hugged me. "He doesn't even remember.... and if he did remember, would he even care?" These were a few of the thoughts going through my mind as the tears started falling. "Our baby would have been born today," I told him. I could tell I was correct and this thought hadn't occurred to him. "I'm sorry baby, I know it's sad..... but she is coming back to us, even if she is a little late" he said. That is so Josh. That is why I need him in my life. I have the tendency to over think events and over feel emotions. Josh keeps my sensitive mind/heart in reality with happy thoughts and positive, rational thinking. The rest of the night was spent happily remembering that my baby is still coming to me, she's just a little late :).

4) The weather has been in the 70's this week! It doesn't feel like the first week of February AT ALL! We have been going for walks daily, and going to the park sometimes twice a day! Austin LOVES being outdoors and he he loves pulling his wagon and collecting rocks as we go :).

5) This pregnancy has been a rather painful one. I have constant pressure and pain in my pelvic region that gets worse as the day progresses. At night I have to lay on a hot pack and slowly roll my hips around, trying to loosen the tightened muscles. It's a very painful process at first but over time the heat relaxes everything and I am able to drift off to sleep.

6) We finally got Austin's hospital bill from October when he went to the ER with Croup..... ugh, sooooooo depressing! $3,500!!! Yep! You heard it right! $3,500!!! So much for trying to save up for the next kid. We can't even afford the one we have!

7) I have hired a maid to come clean my house once a month. I always keep the house clean and straightened up but I need help with the deep cleaning part, especially now that it hurts to move! The hard part has been finding a maid who understands my standard of cleanliness. Yes, when it comes to cleaning, I can get crazy! I zone in on every detail, and don't stop until the job is nothing short of perfect. I understand it is impossible to find another human being who is that anal,  but it has been a struggle. After the maid left on Tuesday, I went through every room and re-did all the jobs she missed, or didn't meet my standards. I know this makes me sound insane but I can't stop it!

8) Austin had a sleep over at my parent's house on Monday night because my Mom needed to be back home for my sister's game before we were able to get off work. That gave us a free night to go out to dinner! We went to Nacho Daddy's, a mexican joint down the street we have been wanting to try out, but haven't had the energy to go with Austin. It was so nice to eat, talk, and just relax together! We missed Austin but we have also missed alone time with each other. We could actually communicate without constant interruptions, tasks, and the crazy job of keeping an 18 month old alive!   


Meanwhile, Austin was at Grandma's house doing:

Sleeping in Grandma's bed with Auntie Bri and attempting to ignore all her kisses ;).

Climbing trees!

Eating dinner while watching movies and trying to share his bottle with Grandpa.

Watching Auntie Bri play powder puff football!

9) Josh's Dad came to visit over Superbowl weekend and although it stressed me out thinking about having yet another visitor to entertain when I feel so exhausted all the time, it was a lot of fun. Thanks to Grandpa's willingness to babysit, I was able to go out to lunch with my sister, get a massage, go on a date with Josh, hit up the farmer's market, and go out to breakfast twice! Austin and I also went to our cousin Kaden's 11th birthday party at a laser tag center while Josh and his Dad went to a movie and the Harley Davidson Store on the strip.

Prepping for our Superbowl party!

Breakfast at Einstein Bagels. Austin loved picking out the bagels :).

Lunch date at the Cheesecake Factory!

driving the race car at the arcade.

Wandering around the Farmer's Market.

Austin loved the strawberries.

10) While Josh was in Florida for a business training, Austin and I spent the week alone doing whatever we wanted :). For dinner one night we decided to go out for frozen yogurt! It was a lot of fun!