Milestones: 11 Months Old

Dear baby Austin, you are not such a baby anymore. This past month you have tried hard to show us how big you are. You have achieved so many milestones throughout the month and I don't know where to begin! However, even though you think you are so big and are proud of your new found independence, if Mom is in the room you turn into a totally different kid. You become whiny and clingy and require constant attention. It's so strange. If I am gone and Dad is watching you, you have a ball doing your own thing, getting into trouble, and rough housing with Dad. Then as soon as I walk in the door, you start whining and suddenly feel the need to be held, the whole independent act disappearing completely. This has made going to the gym difficult because you cry and cling onto my clothes for dear life when I drop you off at daycare. I feel awful and am thinking about you during my entire workout. Maybe that's the problem..... you have the power to manipulate me and you know it.

You are soooooo intelligent! This has been apparent from the beginning but we are still finding ourselves in awe of how much you understand and how determined and sneaky you can be when there is something you want but shouldn't have.

You hear the word "No" a lot and that has in turn become a part of your vocabulary! Not only do you say it, but you understand what it means! When I caught you in the cupboard this morning trying to climb up onto the top shelf, I told you no and you instantly backed down and crawled out of the cupboard. Whenever you find the remote to the TV and we catch you, you throw it down and say "no-no" and shake your head vigorously from side to side. When you are about to jump off the couch and break your neck, we yell "Austin NO!!" and you quickly sit down, shaking your head and repeating the word. It is so cute that we end up smiling or sometimes laughing. We try not to because we are trying to be strict with you but it is so stinking cute we can't help ourselves! An example of one of those moments was about a week ago when you bit me on the shoulder really hard. It scared me and before I knew it I was pointing my finger at your mouth and yelling NO! Then, as if it were a reflex of your own, you bent down and bit my finger! Yes..... I laughed hard. I couldn't help it.

Your vocabulary consists of: Mama, Dada, No, Sa-dee, and hi. The last one is my favorite. Every time you come around the corner, you look at us and say hi! Sometimes when we are on the floor, you will come up behind us, giving us a hug or a kiss and say hi! And then there's the adorable moments when you hide behind the couch and then pop your head up and say hi! You are just too cute :).

Your new trick is pulling the child-proof outlet covers from the power outlets. I couldn't figure out how you were doing it until I caught you in action one day. There is a little piece in the middle of the cover that you push in to pop the cover out (meant for adults). Well, your sneaky little ingenious mind learned to pull that little lever out (instead of pushing in) and used it to pull the cover off. Like I said, you are too smart.

You started walking this month! Crawling is still your main method of transportation but you are walking more and more every day. We started off by making a game out of it and  you would hold onto the couch and then take a few steps into our arms. Next, you started making rounds around the house by holding onto the walls and furniture. Now, you just get up and walk whenever you feel like it! You have really good balance and we find you just standing independently a lot of times. You stand and watch your show, or you stand and drink out of your sippy cup. I think crawling will be a thing of the past very soon. We are actually really excited about that because it opens up a lot more opportunities for us to go do fun things!

Now for the sad news.... you gave up nursing on your own about a week ago. It was so strange. You just stopped! It went from being something you couldn't live without to something you didn't want anything to do with. The weird part is you still want the milk, but you want it from a bottle. I thought it was just a fluke at first and kept trying to "trick you" into nursing but you got really frustrated with me and I knew that you were trying to tell me you were ready to be a big boy now. I vowed to breastfeed you until you were 12 months old because of the health benefits that nursing brings so you have now made my job much harder! Now I have to pump a bottle for you throughout the day. However, you have also made my nights easier! I refuse to pump in the middle of the night and give you a bottle. It's just too hard and takes too long. So we are now sleep training you! You had gotten to the point where you would only wake up once or twice at night and then I would nurse you back to sleep within minutes. But now that you aren't nursing, you are learning how to put yourself back to sleep! That means I have gone almost a whole week without having to get up with you at night! WAHOO!! My brain hasn't quite figured it out yet though so I am still waking up throughout the night and listening for you/wondering if you are okay. And then there's the times when you wake up talking and wanting to play and I lay there waiting for you to figure out that nobody's coming. It doesn't take you too long to go back to sleep. I have gotten a lot of well meaning advice from fellow mothers about sleep training and how I have done it all wrong by letting you take the lead in this area. But I don't think I would have done it any differently. You have been an awful sleeper since the day you were born, but you have also decided on  your own time frame how to put yourself to sleep. I have just been your partner in the journey and I feel proud of us both because I never had to sit there and listen to you scream while I "ignored you for your own good" and you found your own strength and ability to train yourself! High Five Buddy!!!

 

Some fun moments over the past month:

Taking our morning walk. You are perfectly content to sit there and drink your bottle.

From the minute Dad gets home, you are in his arms. If he tries to put you down you throw a fit and he falls for it every time so he picks you right back up again. Yesterday he didn't get to eat his dinner because he can't multitask like Mom can. So this is what you guys did instead while Mom got to relax and actually eat a hot meal! 

 



You love looking out the window!

Walking around the house with Dad.

You were pretty excited when Grandma P. came back from her trip to Florida!

Your first balloon! You went with me to the Sprouts grand opening and you kept jealously looking around at the other kids with their balloons. It made your day when the nice lady came and gave you one of your own! You are still playing with it and I keep cringing, waiting for it to pop in your face whenever you bite it.

Days later and you've still got your new friend.

Now that it is so hot outside, you and I share a green smoothie for breakfast every morning. You love it and it is a sweet memory for me :).

You sleep like a stink bug with your blanket underneath you. It's so cute!

We have all been sick this past week and even though you didn't feel well, you had so much energy! So we built a fort for you to play in to keep you busy :).

Trying out this vapor bubble bath to help you with your head cold. You loved it and it seemed to help. Dad keeps stealing it and using it himself because it works so well!

Helping Mom pick tomatoes from our "urban garden."

 

Giving kisses. You are such a Momma's boy!

Taking a ride in the shopping cart. I love your crazy hair! It makes me smile every time I look at you :).

One day I found you in a pile of movies holding onto this DVD. You were hugging and kissing it and every time you would go in for a kiss, you said Mama. I'm guessing you think I look like Kate Hudson?? I'll take it!

The huge mess you made when I gave you a nutria-grain bar. I didn't mind the mess because you were enjoying yourself so much!

You LOVE my keys. Whenever my purse is in sight, you dive right in for the keys.

Playing with my shoes.

I took you to the park because you were teething and so miserable. It was a beautiful day and all you wanted to do was play in my purse!
 

I was sitting on the floor, watching your movie with you because you were grumpy and miserable from teething and it seemed to be the only thing you wanted to do. Then you reached over and grabbed my hand and we sat there holding hands! It was so sweet, I tried hard not to cry :).

We finally put up a baby gate because you were so obsessed with the stairs. We caught you more than once trying to climb over it and a few times you almost made it!

You deserved your own water bottle after how sweet you were today. There was a little baby around your age crying at the gym daycare and you crawled over to him and started hugging and kissing him. After that, your refused to leave his side and when I came to pick you up you were both sitting on the sitter's lap because you wouldn't let her pick the other baby up without you being there too! Melt my heart :).

Swimming with Dad and wishing you were big enough to play with the "big kids."

Getting some swim lessons.

You are so clingy to me. If I don't feel you constantly tugging on my dress or pants then I know you must be doing something mischievous.

Peeking around the door to see if I am still there watching you before you go do something naughty.

Someone found the animal cookies!!

Learning to walk!

Reading your books.

Such a happy baby!

Hiding under the table.

Just chillin' out while you watch Baby Einstein.

You absolutely love Mama's hair. Your favorite is when I have it in a ponytail and I whip it back and forth in your face. Full out giggling ensues!

You are so happy when you wake up from your naps! When we hear you stirring, Dad and I race each other up the stairs to see who can be the first one into your room to see your face light up!

Oh Austin, you make our life complete :).

Celebrating Four Years of Marriage

We used to celebrate our anniversaries with lavish vacations and fancy dinners. This year was a little different. Now we are parents and don't have the free time or the money to do those things. So our anniversary was spent eating take-out from Raising Canes and playing with our little guy. It wasn't expensive, but it did have its charm.

 

That morning I got the sweetest text from Josh telling me he loved me.

 

 

 

 

Then I spent the rest of the day with the second love of my life

Crazy kid always climbing all over me

He's walking! Capturing it on camera is difficult though because he does it when you don't expect it and it's always blurry when he moves.

I remember being pregnant with him on our last anniversary. I can't believe he's almost 11 months old!

 

 

Austin and I decided to make chocolate covered strawberries to surprise Dad when he got home :).

So yummy!

Austin approved ;). He is so messy with food right now. He spends more time squishing it between his fingers than he does eating it.

 

 

When Josh came home, he came bearing gifts along with dinner!

Flowers and chocolate, quickest way to my heart!

 

It was a relaxing night. Raising Canes is the best if you are a down south chicken lover like us! After Austin went to bed, we cuddled in the love-sac and ate our strawberries while we watched TV and talked. I am so grateful for Josh. He can be a big pain in the butt sometimes but he has given me the greatest life! He gave me the most beautiful baby and has worked really hard so I can stay at home to take care of him. Most of all he loves me and shows me daily, although it's not always grand gestures like roses and chocolate. My favorite is in the middle of the night when he rolls over and puts his arm around me, holding me tight.

 

Happy Four Years Josh! I love you more than anything!

 

 

PS. My mom was going to come over today and babysit Austin while we went out on a late anniversary date to dinner and a movie but both Josh and Austin woke up sick today :(. Story of my life!

Learning to Say No

 

In the journey of "finding myself" I am realizing that a huge part of the stress in my life comes from my inability to say no. Josh has told me this numerous times and has gotten mad at me on countless occasions because if I'm stressed, then he's stressed. I always ignored him and told him he's just selfish and never says yes to anything so how would he know how to say no? But now that I am taking a closer look at things, I think he's right.

It all comes back to guilt. I am quickly learning that every decision in my life is made based on guilt! It's ridiculous!! I am so worried about people hating me, judging me, talking bad about me, or Jesus being disappointed in me that I feel the need to say yes to everything, even if it turns my life upside-down and turns me into a crazy monster!

I am learning to say NO. Not only say no, but not feel guilty immediately after saying it.

It has been so liberating! I feel a power come over me after I speak my mind that makes me smile inside and makes that crazy monster not feel the need to poke it's ugly head out of it's cage!

A few examples:

- My sister had a horrible head cold and I didn't want to be five feet near her in case I, or Austin, caught it. Then, after dinner one night, she asked if she could eat a piece of my cake! I sat there staring at the fork she was using and imagining all the bacteria on it, just waiting to infect me. I almost said yes and hoped I wouldn't suffer the consequences of getting sick just to be nice and spare her feelings. But then I decided to speak my mind and told her of course she could have some if she got a new fork that wasn't covered in germs. Basically all hell broke loose and she got super mad at me and the rest of the night was ruined. At first I was mad at myself for not just giving in to her demands, but then I realized I had stood up for myself and I shouldn't care if that hurts her feelings or not! I mean, is it that hard to grab a clean fork???

-We had the missionaries over for dinner a few nights ago, and as always, they challenged us to be better member missionaries. That part is fine. I know I should be trying harder in that department. It was the part where she asked us if within the next three days we would find a non-member and ask them if they want to hear about our church..... I could feel the stress coming on. I could feel the guilt rising. Three days??? I am so busy with Austin and my life as a wife/mother, how am I going to do this in three days?? Usually I would say yes and then stress for three days and ignore the phone call when the missionaries called to check up on my progress. But not this time. When the sister looked over at me, waiting for my response, I said no! I explained that I am making friends with a lot of non-members in our neighborhood and I am trying to bring the light of Christ into their lives by my example and friendship. Of course, if I felt the spirit prompting me to say something, I would. But in the meantime, I don't feel comfortable with forcing my religion on them in three days. Plus, I don't want to lose their friendship or be labeled as the "weird Mormon girl." I know I'm not supposed to care about that, but I do. Although they accepted my answer, I felt a lot of guilt. Mainly it came from feeling like I let Christ and my Heavenly Father down. It put a slightly awkward spin on the night until one of the sister missionaries suddenly spoke and said, "I just have the impression that I need to tell you right now how much Heavenly Father loves you and is proud of you." She was tearing up, I was tearing up, and suddenly a feeling of peace and love came over me. At that moment I knew that Heavenly Father understood my feelings and it was okay to feel that way. At that moment I understood that I don't have to be perfect for God to love me. It was beautiful.

-My Sister is getting her boobs done (AGAIN) and is going to be needing help with the basic stuff like doing her hair, makeup, shaving, etc. until she is healed. She called me last night asking if I would be that person she could count on to take care of her. I said yes at first, wanting to help her any way I can, but then after she described the length of care she will need, and the time of day she will need it, I realized that I will be simultaneously trying to get her ready for work (showering her, shaving her, doing her hair, doing her makeup), while making dinner, making Josh's lunch for the next day, feeding Austin, constantly monitoring Austin, and somehow giving Josh the love and attention he needs when he gets home from work and just wants someone to dote on him. I could feel it rearing it's ugly head. The stress monster was coming out and I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. So I said NO. I waited for the fight that usually erupts whenever my sister doesn't get what she wants, but this time it didn't happen! I was so relieved! Once again I felt my mind relaxing and a little pride fell over me. I stood up for myself again and it felt good!

This is a continuous journey and I know it isn't always going to end prettily. Is that a word? Anyways, I can't be scared of those consequences though because I need to take care of me. I am hoping if I take better care of me, the people around me will be happier and we will have less stress and chaos in our home. That's the goal anyways.

Saying no opens up a lot more time for the sweet things in life, like cuddling with your hubby on the love-sac.

 

Girl Time in Logandale

My Mom just got back from a long trip to Florida so my sisters and I decided to all get together with her and have a couple days of girl time! It was so much fun! We made healthy meals, talked, talked some more, went to the Recreation Center in Mesquite to swim in the pool/use the gym, made brownies and ate them ALL, and basically just had a really great time! Austin was the center of attention at all times (of course) so he was a monster when we got home. He no longer felt like entertaining himself and wanted to be held every second. This wasn't going to fly when we got home because I had to single-handedly unpack the car, and then make dinner for the missionaries who were coming over in two hours. It was stressful but we did it! Or more like I did it and Austin just laid on the floor and cried the whole time. The missionaries came early so Josh wasn't even home to help when they arrived. It turned out to be a really nice night though and the meal was delicious! My Mom had helped me throw the ingredients for homemade chicken alfredo sauce into the crockpot earlier that day so I wasn't as stressed out as I would have been!

I love my family so much and am so grateful to have such a beautiful Mom and two amazing sisters who make my life whole. We fight, we laugh, we fight again.... but most of all, we love each other more than anything. That's what life's about!

Austin loves Sadie so much and knows how to say her name now! It's so cute because he exaggerates the last part, "sa-DIE!" Briana is jealous ;).

Crazy boy woke up with some pretty wild hair!

Cooking up a yummy dinner for the fam! I made Caprese salad, Briana made baked salmon, and Sadie was in charge of the Brownies a la mode. MMMMMmmmm.

Goofing around at Grandma's house

In the car on our way to the Mesquite Rec Center. Briana and I took Austin swimming while my Mom and Sadie worked out at the gym. He has no fear and swallowed quite a bit of water whenever he would book it as fast as he could to the deeper end so it was kinda stressful but we had fun :).

Austin eating oatmeal from McDonalds with Mom for breakfast.

All four of us ladies working hard in the kitchen!

And another car ride.... Briana was hiding because she didn't have makeup on haha.

Austin teaching Aunt Briana how to play the piano. Every time he stopped he would look around at all of us and wait for an applause.

Eating pretzels with Aunt Sadie.

Throwing My First Baby Shower

My best friend, Jura, is having a baby girl soon and I threw her a baby shower! It was stressful trying to plan, bake, and decorate with a baby but it turned out beautifully and was a lot of fun! I wish I had gotten better pictures but I was too busy with serving and entertaining. Jura had invited 150 people (shoot me) so I had planned on an extremely large crowd and was super nervous but only about 30 people showed up. Let's just say I had A LOT of cupcakes left over. After the shower Josh and I walked around the neighborhood and gave them all away to the neighbors because it wasn't safe to keep them in the house.

The theme of the party was "Baby Luau" which turned out so cute! I baked what felt like a million pink cupcakes (with the help of my friend down the street) and put adorable little umbrellas on top of them. Jura's older sister Casey helped out a lot with the rest of the food. We had Hawaiian meatballs and rice, and a lot of fruit, veggies, and dip. And of course lemonade :).

I made up some of the games, and others I found online. What would we do without the internet??? It was hard trying to get everyone to pay attention and stop talking during the games and I found myself yelling the entire time for everyone to be able to hear me. That's good though because it means people were having a good time! If we were hearing crickets I would have felt like a total failure.

Jura looked gorgeous and I am so excited for her to become a Mommy. We have been friends since we were 10 years old and our families are both very close. I am so happy that we live close by now so we can raise our children together and have each other to lean on for advice and babysitting!



Party mints. You can't see it here, but they say Baby Girl on them!

The gift table.

Floating rubber duckies in the lemonade.

This is just one of the tables covered in yummy food!

My lovely friend and her baby bump!

My kitchen covered in cupcakes!