My 26th Birthday

My birthday this year was amazing. I quit my job a few days prior, which was the best present I could ever receive. That allowed me to spend my actual birthday at home hanging out with my little dude.

I got to use my new juicer to make my birthday breakfast! Pretty yummy :)

lazy day...

We couldn't wait for Daddy to get home so we could start the party!

Once Josh got home from work, we headed out to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner! That is my favorite restaurant. I have to practice self control when I am there or I would eat at least five baskets of bread! Austin did really well for a 7 month old. He even got to chew on his own little piece of bread which kept him entertained for a whole 10 minutes. Josh and I split our usual and then got a piece of cheesecake to go. We couldn't wait to put Austin to bed so we could dig into it!

MMmmmm

Red Velvet Cheesecake, my fav!

The night ended so perfectly. As I was rocking Austin to sleep, he sat up in my lap and gave me a big smooch on the lips and then laid his head on my shoulder and gave me a sweet little snuggle. I died. Then, because he had gotten such a good response the first time, he decided to make a little game out of it! He kept kissing me and hugging me over and over until my face was completely covered in baby slobber and I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. That was by far the best present I had gotten all day, even better than the cheesecake that was waiting for me downstairs ;).

Since this was my night, I chose to make a bed on the living room floor with Josh and cuddle under a blanket while we watched THE OFFICE reruns and ate cake.

 

Birthday #26 = Perfection! 

Precious Moments

Josh went to the Queen concert last night with my Step-Dad, which meant Austin and I were on our own. We read stories, ate baby food, and Austin used me as his jungle gym to climb  all over while I attempted to watch a movie. I'm not going to lie, I was excited when 8:00 rolled around and it was bed time! We did our tradition of putting on jammies, dimming the lights in his room, and nursing while I sang songs to him. Then it was time to put the sweet little guy to bed so Mom could get back to her movie! However, just like earlier this morning, I had forgotten that it was Daylight Savings Time :(.

 

He cried and cried and cried.

 

It went on for about 25 minutes during which I attempted to continue watching my movie and had gotten out the ice cream ;). But then I started hearing strange noises and decided to go check on him. Apparently, all that anger towards me sparked him to learn how to stand up in his bed! I was totally shocked as I stood there with him staring right back at me. He had tears rolling down his face and he was panting from crying so hard. So I gave in and decided to bring him back downstairs to join my little party.

 

He was much sweeter this time, now that he knew what was at stake. He kept trying to eat my ice cream so I put it away and got out a Greek yogurt instead. Then I put him on my lap and there we sat on the floor, sharing a yogurt and watching a movie.

 

I was in heaven. He just sat there (which never happens) and let me spoon feed him as he watched the TV. The yogurt actually tasted better than the ice cream so I owe him for the pound of extra fat he spared me from ;). 

 

It was a sweet Mommy moment. My baby is getting so big and I can't help feeling sad about it. But at the same time I am so in awe of his growth and the little personality he is developing. Josh and I lay in bed at night and laugh about all the silly things he did that day and talk about all the ways we have our work cut out for us in the future. Let's just say he has his Momma's stubborn side and his Daddy's sense of entitlement. Not a good combo...

 

Then his eyes started to droop and he wasn't as interested in the yogurt anymore. I scooped up my sweet little bundle and carried him up to bed. I sang and rocked him to sleep once more, but this time he didn't protest when I laid him down in his crib.

 

I love being a Mom! Nothing could be more rewarding than this!

 

This morning I went into his room to get him ready for the day and again, there he was, standing there waiting for me! Standing is his new trick and he has been doing it all morning. We struggle each day trying to keep him away from the electrical cords so I got smart this time and put a chair in the way. That was just fine with him! He used it as his prop for standing!

I love how tiny his little legs look!

Our "big boy"

Now we need to add lowering his crib mattress to the list so he doesn't fall out of the bed... If you could only see how long that list is getting!



I Did It!

Well, I did it! I quit my job! My last day was on Saturday and I turned in all my stuff today. It feels bittersweet because I had a love/hate relationship with my job, but in the end, I know we are making the right decision and I couldn't be more excited! I took Austin with me to the office to say goodbye to everyone and it felt a little awkward. I felt like I was betraying them by quitting and for some reason I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. I even forgot to ask about my last paycheck and had to turn around and go back!

 

Austin fell asleep in the car on the ride home which was nice because it gave me a chance to think. Basically what I came up with is this is going to be a big transition and I can't expect to feel 100% sure about anything right now. I just need to practice some faith and trust God as he leads us along this new road. A part of me feels sad that I am not going to be practicing nursing for a while because it is something that gives me purpose and it is something that I am good at and take pride in. I just don't want to feel like I am now insignificant and have nothing to show for all my hard work. I know that sounds terrible, but it is something I've been thinking about a lot.

 

Once we got home, I carried sleeping Austin up to his crib and then proceeded to put away all my nursing stuff.... uniforms, stethoscope, supplies I carried around with me to every hospital.... and then I got to working on my new life! I made a gym calendar to keep us motivated on staying fit, and I printed off a meal plan calendar for all the cooking I am now going to do! And with that sparked a light of excitement.

 

I am not going to be some ordinary house wife. No, I am going to be extraordinary!  

 

I'm sure my children will take advantage of all the hard work I will be doing, just like I took advantage of my own mother. But in the end, I will die knowing that I put aside my pride and did my best to raise those children in the best environment I could possibly make for them.

 

This isn't the end of my life as a nurse. I have many options I've been looking into for when my children grow up and I find myself with more spare time. This is just a little time out for Ashly-RN so that Ashly-Stay-at-Home MOM can take her full form!

 

Tonight is Monday night which means I will actually be home for family home evening! Time to get working on some treats and a lesson :).

Last day of work! Goodbye Nurse Ashly!

First day at home! Hello Momma Ashly!

 

Milestones: 7 Months Old

This little man is growing way too fast! His personality is coming out so strongly now and to our dismay, he is a little stubborn thing just like his parents :(.

At 7 Months:

-He now has two bottom teeth!

-He got his last set of shots for a while at 6 1/2 months. He only cried for a minute at the doctor's office but then had a breakdown that basically lasted all night once we got home.

-LOVES to roll around and army crawl. He still won't crawl normally and hasn't figured out how to pull himself up on things yet (yay!). Part of that is probably due to being spoiled. He knows that if he just lays there and cries, someone will come pick him up and take him wherever he wants to go! It is so hard to change his diaper and get him dressed nowadays because he won't sit still long enough to let you do it. This is especially difficult when you are trying to change his poopy diaper and he tries to roll over in the middle of it! We don't even use the changing table anymore because it is so dangerous. You never know when he is going to flip over and he does it so fast!

-He had his first play date with Emmett (10mos) down the street. His mom is my friend/visiting teacher and both are a lot of fun to hang out with! I had to leave for a couple hours for a job interview and I was sooooo worried about how he would handle being in a new house with new people but he actually did great and was all smiles when I came to pick him up! He lives a pretty sheltered life and the only people he is exposed to are family so at first he was super jumpy and would cry whenever Emmett screamed or made loud noises but after a while he got used to it and had a lot of fun :).

-Drum roll please!!! Austin now eats baby food! He still makes the funny faces and acts like he doesn't like it, but he opens his mouth and swallows it! I am so relieved because I was seriously starting to think I would be breast feeding this kid until he's 8 years old with how stubborn he was being about it! Note: he still won't eat the rice cereal though. It must be the texture.

Trying to get the Playstation. He is fascinated with anything he sees us using.

Daddy's boy

Having a little talk with Mom about having to get his shots today.

Loves to swing at the park!

Playing at the park with Grandma P. and Aunt Briana. He had a blast!

Austin's "tired eyes"

We can't get enough of that smile!

hanging out with Mom and Aunt Sadie.

Valentines Day 2014

Our Valentines Day was wonderful! Josh had to work, so I spent the morning with Austin and then my parents came over that afternoon to babysit and I headed off to get a massage! Josh spoiled me rotten this year. Along with the massage, he also bought me a massive box full of all sorts of European chocolate and a Keurig machine to make teas and hot cocoa :). Quickest way to my heart!

 

So happy!

After my relaxing massage, I headed over to the Mandalay Bay to check into the hotel. I was wanting so badly to get there early so I could take a bubble bath in the huge marble tub, but the stupid lady wouldn't let me check in without Josh since he was the one who booked everything so I had to sit in the casino for a while waiting for Josh to get off work.... grrrr. Of course that was the day he got asked to stay late and I ended up people watching for about 3 hours, but who's counting?

 

Once Josh showed up things went back to being perfect again. We walked around the casino checking out the different restaurants and finally settled on the buffet. It was perfect because I got my all you can eat sushi bar and Josh got his all you can eat meat and salmon bar. It was so nice and relaxing eating and talking about life without a little one demanding our attention. Don't worry Austin, I still missed you a lot and had to keep diverting my thoughts away from wondering what you were doing constantly.

Love birds wandering around the casino.

Josh and the cool statue of Lenin

 

 

The next day I woke up early (Austin has trained my brain to not believe in sleep anymore) and took my long awaited bubble bath! There was a TV in the bathroom so I watched the news while I soaked in the bubbles. Then Josh woke up and we decided to walk around the pools before check-out. Like a genius I had forgotten my swimsuit so we didn't get to jump in the hot tub like we had planned :(. We got Starbucks for breakfast and walked around the grounds for a couple hours. It was so beautiful and the weather was perfect!

The perfect morning!

Morning walk around the grounds.

Watching the swans swim around.

Sadly, next came check-out and I had to head to work while Josh headed home to tend the Bubba man. We had the perfect get-away but were also super excited to see our baby! My Step-Dad decided to put the child proof locks on our kitchen cabinets for us while we were gone, which was a wonderful surprise to come home to! Thanks Mom and Nate for making this all possible! We love you!

My Early Birthday Surprise!!!

I'm shocked.    I'm in awe.    I'm excited beyond imagine!!!

 

Yup, that's why I married him! He's always surprising me and affirming that I truly married Prince Charming :).

 

I worked (and by worked, I mean worked my butt off doing overtime) clear up to the day before I went into the hospital to have Austin, and then after 8 short weeks of maternity leave, it was back to the grind for me!

 

It has killed me having to leave my baby. Although he is a handful at times, I crave his sweet smile and it makes my heart leap whenever I hear him giggle.

 

I have wanted so badly to be a stay at home Mom. I can't imagine anything better than getting to see my baby every day while taking care of my home and husband. It's so hard when you are exhausted from work and all you want to do is crawl into a hole and sleep. Don't get me wrong, I love nursing and I have enjoyed my job. But I haven't felt that fulfilling feeling that I am where I need to be at this point in life.

 

However, we live in a modern world where most women are the bread winners and the home and family have been put on the back burner. With both parents working, who has the time to focus on important things like family dinners and the emotional development of our children? Perhaps that's why we have so many crazy/disturbed people running around shooting children. It's so sad. Note: I am not judging those who have no choice but to work in order to provide for their families. I was raised by a single Mom so I understand that world. Please don't be offended if that is your situation. As for my situation, we have forgotten what's important and our priorities were perhaps focused on all the wrong things. Josh and I have talked about this for a while now and it always comes down to: are we willing to give up the wonderful life that having lots of money provides? For a while we both decided, No. Money is nice.... okay, let's get serious.... money is great! I have LOVED all my shopping sprees, Starbucks Lattes, eating out at restaurants, investing in the stock market, and paying off our second car because we are both weirdo's and absolutely hate debt.

 

Nevertheless, money doesn't buy happiness.

 

No amount of cute clothes can make up for the fact that I miss my baby. Not even owning the titles to ten cars could take away the feeling that I'm not giving my husband enough.

 

It has been a struggle.

 

And then Prince Charming gave me the surprise of a lifetime! He told me to turn in my two weeks notice because his birthday present to me this year is to quit my job and be a stay at home mom!

 

 

Oh how I love that man!

 

It has been stressful figuring out private insurance and planning out a budget for this new life we are about to embark on, but we couldn't be happier! I am so excited to finally be the wife and mother I haven't had the time or energy to be! 14 is my lucky number, and so far in 2014, I'm feeling like the luckiest girl in the world :).

 

A Little Love Story for Valentines Day

I had my first experience of actually breaking down into tears at work last week. I am a very emotional person and the nursing field gives you plenty of moments that require emotional breakdowns, but you have to hold it in and keep it together. I mean, if the nurse is crying, then we are all in trouble! Call it a moment of weakness.... and it is probably one of those "you just had to be there" kind of stories. But I'll share anyways and you be the judge.

I was in the ICU, dialyzing a 75 year old man who to my knowledge was doing pretty good! He was awake, alert, and oriented. His vital signs were stable without the help of a Levophed IV drip. And within minutes of me walking into his room, he was my little buddy and we were chatting away about my baby, his "babies," my husband's job, his retirement life, his previous career, and how we both live in the same community in Henderson! It was a pretty good Saturday morning, besides the fact that he wanted breakfast and I wouldn't let him have any until his treatment was over (I promise there were medical reasons for it and I'm not just a mean, food depriving tyrant).

Then his son walked in. This was an anxious, constantly moving with nervous energy, gives you the creeps kind of guy. He introduced himself, contaminated my sterile field with his Starbucks Latte, and then proceeded to tell his father that it is time to die. No, I wish I were joking.

I watched with horror as I listened to the son communicate to his father that he will never get better, he will never make it home to his wife, and he will never get a chance to once again drive his electric scooter to the casino and play his favorite penny slot machine. I could see my buddy's face go from one of happy peace, to that of sudden confusion and sadness. He kept asking his son why he wouldn't be able to get better and what would happen if he just decided to die? I was at a loss and couldn't believe what I was witnessing. I was about to stand up and tell the son that dying isn't that easy. It's not like you just suddenly say, "I'm going to die today," and get on with it! I was also going to educate him on his father's progress and current status when in walked his family doctor and the rest of the family.

I could tell this was all planned out just by the lines the doctor was feeding his patient and suddenly the thought occurred to me that this man must have a lot of money. Why else would all these people be trying to talk him into dying??? Later my suspicions were confirmed when I reported all of this to the primary nurse. "OH  YEAH, HE'S LOADED!" she told me.

Okay, here's the part where I couldn't hold it in any longer. Throughout this whole terrible charade, his wife stood in the background with her head down, gripping her cane so tightly her hand was turning white. Then, upon her son's command, she slowly walked up to the side of the bed and grabbed her sweetheart's hand. She gently stroked his hand and wiped away his tears, and then told him that she can't stand to see him like this and that he is not the kind of man to just lie in a hospital bed.

"We don't know with assurance if you will ever get to come home, sweetheart. There are many horrible ways to die and I don't want to see you get to that point. What could be better than quietly, and peacefully falling asleep and not waking up?" she said.

 

"Loving you" he replied.

 

That's it, I was done for. The flood gates had opened. I tried my best not to show it by staring out the window and trying not to sniffle, which turned out to be futile when he then continued with, "I don't want to be a burden to anyone, so if you want me to, honey, I will stop trying to get better."

 

I could see the love in his eyes as he sincerely offered to end his life if it would make his soul-mate happy. It seriously felt like I was on stage with Romeo and Juliet.

 

My thoughts turned to my own soul-mate and I suddenly understood the insanity of the situation. Would I want to watch the love of my life suffer in a hospital bed for months? No, the thought of it kills me. Would I end my own life if it meant bettering the life of the man of my dreams? Yes, without a second thought. 

 

I was grateful to be a witness to this bittersweet moment because it once again helped me remember what is important in life.    LOVE.

 

When the family left and the treatment had ended, I went to my friend's bedside and proceeded to pull his needles and check his vital signs. While I was doing that, I talked to him about what had just happened and added my own two cents to the situation. I told him he had options and to not feel pressured into doing something he doesn't want to do. I told him about Home Health and Hospice Care and the positive attributes that both could bring to his situation. I couldn't leave without knowing that he had been appropriately educated.

 

Are you crying yet? Or are you thinking "Umm, okay, that was a stupid story." Maybe becoming a Mom has made me too soft.... I don't know. But I am happy to report that I stopped by my friend's bedside on Monday and he was still alive and kicking! So maybe something I said stuck with him? I would like to think so :).

 

Happy Valentines Day everyone! May you love as passionately as you are capable, and be loved as powerfully as you deserve.

My two loves with their giant pink Valentines cookies. Since Austin is too young to eat his, we all benefit from this tradition!