Happy Independence Day 2020!!

 I was feeling so sad that we wouldn't be able to have our traditional 4th of July this year because of the COVID19 Virus that has plagued our world and is killing off our elderly. We usually spend the day having fun with Grandma Helm but in order to protect her from germs, we couldn't do it this year. So like everything else this year, we had to improvise..... and it turned out better than we could have planned! I am realizing this with everything this year. I get so upset that my plans are ruined, then we improvise and it turns out better than ever! I'm definitely learning a lesson in submitting to the Lords will in everything.... not just the things I WANT to submit to.

We spent the morning at the park together as a family, laughing together in the shade under a tree, splashing around in the splash pad, and watching the kids run around the playground with other children. It was so picturesque and was a moment that made my heart so happy :).

We came home tired and sun drenched, but happy to be alive :). We had a BBQ and then spent the afternoon resting while the baby slept. It was during that quiet time that I found myself getting really sad and this emotional turmoil that keeps popping up constantly these days was heavy on my mind. I found a large lump the size of a golf ball on my thyroid a couple months ago and have been working with multiple doctors to try and figure out what is going on.... and if it is cancerous... My heart has been torn in every direction as I try not to think about what would happen to my family if I died... or what a life without a thyroid would look like if surgery is the only option. I have been told by so many friends to try certain hard core diets to solve my problem, but after talking to Grandma Helm and hearing that thyroid issues plague the family, I have a feeling it won't be as easy as that. My labs are very confusing and an ultrasound showed that I actually have 4 large nodules, not just one :(. None of it looks good, we will just leave it at that. So dealing with this health issue has given me a different perspective on my life and what is important, making that beautiful sunny morning laying on a blanket with my family even more "special". Josh had to hold me that afternoon on our bed while I cried because I couldn't hold it in anymore. This can't be it! This can't be the end of this precious life I have worked so hard to create. My heart wants to fight against this current injustice, and yet everything I have learned from 2020 is saying to submit to God's will and hang on for the ride.... and we all know my stance on submission..... hence the tears :(.

I couldn't let that moment of weakness ruin the holiday, so I got the family together in our kitchen after the baby woke up and taught everyone how to make homemade ice cream :). I want every memory of their Mama to be in the kitchen, happily working together to create something special. Because the moment itself is always just as special as the treat.

Then, as we were eating our delicious creations, there was a knock at the door and it was our little neighbor girl, Bella! She is one of Evie's close friends and she came by to invite us to a BBQ her family was having out back in the alleyway! So we went out back and have the time of our lives that night. It was completely impromptu and it was so needed. I needed that sense of community as we passed around the baby and the men talked about sports by the grill. I needed that sense of happiness as the kids ran around screaming happily as they soaked each other with the hose. I needed that happy feeling of comfort as I brought out the apple pie I had been baking and shared it with everyone, watching their happiness grow as they devoured the yummy treat. We topped the night off with a compilation of fireworks we had all bought and sat in lawn chairs while the Dad's lit them in the alleyway. It was perfect. And it didn't surprise me at all when I noticed that it was a night of the SuperMoon. The energy was electric and we were all charged with this happiness that is hard to describe. 2020 has been the year of horrors. Our country is ripping itself apart over police brutality and black people who are trying to rip our country apart with marches and raiding and murder. So many people have died this year from the COVID19 virus and we have all been living in quiet fear, social distancing from everyone. We are mandated to wear masks everywhere we go and the days of shaking hands and hugging old friends is long gone. But not tonight. Tonight we celebrated the birth of America and the patriotic spirit was strong. God Bless America and the mess she is in right now. God  Bless us all. And God Bless special neighbors who were thoughtful enough to invite us into their world and share their food and company. It was a night to remember.

Austin spraying himself in the face with the hose because that's just Austin hahaha!

The kids had a blast with the sparklers and Isla loved watching them!

Isla finally passed out from all the excitement which was good because we kept her up until almost 10'oclock at night!!

Dad was like a kid again lighting fireworks with the kids!

My rock, and the love of my life.... always and forever.

My sweet neighbor Tanya. I was pregnant with Isla the day they moved in next door to us and now she's pregnant with a baby girl of her own! Her daughter Bella and Evie are like soul sisters and I am so grateful for their friendship. This has been such a hard year but having wonderful friends and neighbors makes it bearable.

This was Isla's first 4th of July experience and she loved it! She was in awe of the fireworks and loved being around all the people :). Now if only she could have gotten away with that piece of apple pie she tried stealing from me... hehe!

Happy Birthday America! Cheers to learning from hard days and to always remembering the ones who gave their lives for our freedom.