Life Within the Cuckoo's Nest: LaFeber Life Lately: Hang Onto Your Hats!

Holy Moly, where do I begin?! I feel like I say that a lot, but this post is going to be a doozy! It has been one insane spring to say the least. I was way too busy working and crying to write all of this down so I am going to be going back in time quite a bit, but it's better late than never, right?!

Okay, here it goes....

Josh lost his job. Yep. My worst nightmare happened to us AGAIN!! Let's just say I went through a dark time during this month. I am still in shock that it only lasted a month, but we are apparently very blessed, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment EVER! During this time, we went into survival mode. Josh and I hardly talked because there was nothing positive to speak about. We would go over the logistics of our day, like who was going to watch the kids while he was doing job interviews and how many extra hours of work I would have to work that week to make up for him not working. Only to have it all upturned on us when Wells Fargo decided to renig on their decision to lay off the entire Las Vegas Branch and asked him to apply for his job back "for the time being." Basically that meant that they just needed help during the busy season and then they would fire him again as soon as summer was over. It was a nightmare. Every day brought new information and new stresses to overcome. We never knew where we would be or what would happen to us from day to day because it all changed so suddenly at a constant rate! To make matters worse, we lost our babysitter because Josh was now working strange hours to incorporate job interviews and the sudden need for overtime (they were trying to get all caught up on how behind they were when they fired everyone so they could fire him again once the job was done. Insert very strong words here!) and those new working hours were not working with our babysitter (our neighbor Chauntelle). I was mortified that my long time friend was doing this to me. I had told her how shitty my life situation was and she returned my misery with more misery. So there I was, working, balancing life without a husband, and trying to find a babysitter every single week. It was awful and my stomach turns every time I think about how stressed out I was :(. I had zero help from my family because my Mom fell apart after her divorce to Nathan and she only causes more drama everywhere she goes. And both of my sisters live far, far away. So it was just Josh and I. In the moment, I felt totally abandoned by God and I was second guessing all of my beliefs because each day just got worse and worse. All I could hold onto was the hope that it would stop at some point. And then it did! In answer to our many desperate prayers, Josh got a new job with a different branch of Wells Fargo!! He was now going to be a Consumer Loan Underwriter instead of a Mortgage Underwriter! This job came with a couple downfalls, but it was mostly blessings and we were in no place to turn it down! Starting with, he got a major promotion!! Like over 10k more added to his salary because he jumped from a Level 1C, to a Level 3 Underwriter! This meant we didn't need a babysitter anymore because he would now be making enough money to allow me to cut down to only working 1 Saturday per week!! Insert the Hallelujah chorus here!! That alone made my life exponentially easier! And since his schedule was to become worse than even before, we were grateful to not have to involve a babysitter in our complicated life anymore. Also, since he was just moving from one branch to another, he got to keep his seniority and health insurance! YES!!

We had a little celebration party for Dad on his last day at work as a level 1C Mortgage Underwriter! We are so proud of him and the kids bought him all sorts of fun goodies and pool toys!

We found this amazing news out the week after we came back from Disneyland. It was in this moment that we felt the tides turn and the energy in our lives shifting. So why not add another baby into the mix, eh?! hahaha! Yep, we also found out that week that we are having another baby! It was a week after we had gotten back from our trip and I still hadn't started my period. So one morning, while Josh was in the shower, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I absentmindedly went about it because I didn't honestly think it would actually happen. After all, the only time we had unprotected sex was in California and even then, we used the pull out method (sorry for the information overload). So the odds were extremely slim to say the least. Then, I looked over at the counter where the test was sitting, and I saw it. TWO PINK LINES!!! I stood there in my underwear, totally flabbergasted. Just in that moment, Josh stepped out of the shower and he looked over at me all confused because I was standing still as a statue staring at the counter top. Then I pushed the test over to his side of the counter and looked up at him with wide eyes! At first he didn't understand and he looked back at me with that same confused look. And then it dawned on him. "Does two lines mean we are having a baby?" he asked. "Yeah...." I quietly replied, "It looks like I'm pregnant!" We stared at each other for a little while and then he wrapped his arms around me, totally naked and wet because he hadn't had a chance to dress yet. I was in shock and he was the only one who could speak in that moment. Just like that, he got a new job that made more money and I found out I was having another baby! After months of praying for another baby and trying not to feel disheartened by my last miscarriage, God was hearing my prayers! It was too much to believe.

The greatest sight in the world to a woman who was seriously starting to question whether or not another baby would ever be in my future.

I went immediately to the OBGYN to have blood drawn just to make sure it was real. And sure enough! We had another blessing on the way! I waited desperately for a phone call from the doctor to confirm my suspicion and the phone call came while we were having family night at Dairy Queen! I walked outside of the restaurant to hear clearly, not wanting to miss a single word. And that sweet nurse confirmed that my hormone levels were extremely high and besides getting a couple more blood draws just to make sure everything continued going up, it looked like I had a healthy baby on the way! My heart was leaping for joy, and not even the ice cream we were sharing compared to the sweetness of my joy!

Ice Cream and Amazing news! The perfect combo!

Since then, I have had multiple blood draws and an ultrasound to confirm the beautiful news! My Hcg jumped from 149, to 6000, to 66500 in less than two weeks! Which would explain why I was already feeling sick by 5 weeks when I normally don't feel a thing until 8 weeks. I am writing this at 8 weeks and 4 days, and have to admit that I have been taking zofran daily to keep my nausea in check. It's the only way I can keep up with my other kids because this baby is bringing on some seriously strong hormones that make me want to crawl into a ball in bed and die.... When I was pregnant with Austin, I was able to lay on the couch for 12 straight weeks and never leave the house. Then with Evie, I chased a toddler around but still, hardly left the house. Now with two older children, the option of not having a yard and not leaving the house is impossible. It's funny how each phase of life is so different. Evie went with me to the ultrasound (Austin was at school) and she too was in awe of what we saw. There it was, on the screen! A baby! And there beating was it's little heart! The ultrasound tech said the heart rate was slower than normal (104) but she said at this stage, it wasn't anything to be alarmed about so I tried not to stress over it. She also checked for twins because my Hcg was so incredibly high! We couldn't see a twin though, and I was very relieved by that. Just one beautiful, very tiny, little baby!

Hello little one!

Since then, Evie has been talking to my stomach nonstop, and I have been constantly apologizing for my hormonal rages and explaining over and over to my children that nausea makes Mom extremely awnery.... I am so grateful to be pregnant, but I can't wait for the first trimester to be over with!

The Following week was Mother's Day and it felt extra special this year. Not only was I treated like a queen, but I was secretly pregnant with a little miracle that only we knew about! I cherished that secret as I sat through church, tearing up as my kiddos sang in Sacrament to all the Moms, and absentmindedly holding my stomach during Relief Society as the speaker talked about motherhood in all its many forms. I didn't lift a finger all day as Josh cooked and cleaned, and my kids spoiled me with all their hand made gifts. I cried as I opened each one and chalked it all off to pregnancy hormones, but we all know crying is my forte whether I am pregnant or not haha! I also got to take a nice, long, luxurious bubble bath with bath bombs and salts, courtesy of my amazing hubby :). It was a beautiful day full of so many beautiful emotions and I went to bed feeling nothing but gratitude for my life..... something I hadn't felt in quite a while.

We spent Mother's Day Weekend at Wet 'n Wild per my only request! I just wanted to spent the weekend soaking up the sun and enjoying my favorite people! It was perfection!

The food at Wet 'n Wild tastes divine after swimming! This was such a wonderful day!

I spent the night before Mother's Day doing a special meditation alone, soaking up the silence and pondering on all of my many blessings that have come from being a mother :).

Then I went upstairs and cuddled with my babies until they fell asleep in my arms. Did I mention how perfect this Mother's Day was?!

Doing my morning yoga and cuddling with my Evie-girl while Daddy made breakfast :).

Opening all of my beautiful presents!

Austin's face! Both kids were dying to give me their sweet cards!

Blessed is an understatement.

I couldn't even finish reading the poem that came with my baby boy's hand print because I started bawling....

Dad spoiled me with all sorts of bath time accessories!

All dressed in our Sunday best and ready for church!

Motherhood is not for the weak, but it is the greatest calling I have ever been given.

I don't know how any other Mother's Day will ever compare to this one! It was a weekend for the books!

Now, because these aren't in any chronological order, let's go back to Evie's birthday! The week we got back from California, I threw a little preschool birthday party for her with all of her sweet little friends! We played musical numbers, pin the cherry on the ice cream cone, let the girls decorate their own cupcakes and then sang happy birthday and did presents! It was a wild party and I was exhausted afterwards, but it was so so fun and Evie was in heaven :). I am so grateful that we did our little neighborhood preschool this year because it has provided so many fun moments with all of Evie's little church friends. It is something that we will definitely miss next year. All of Evie's friends will be going their own way for Pre-K (Evie will be going back to Children's Learning Adventure) so our little group will be disbanding. Evie had her last week of school the last week of May and it was bittersweet. I can't believe how much each girl has grown over the year :).

Happy 4th Birthday Princess!

Sadie and Evelyn decorating cupcakes

Azalea sitting next to Evie because they are inseparable!

Opening presents is a legit affair when you are four!

Could they be any cuter?!

Dancing for those prizes!

Is it just girls that are always holding hands? Or are these just super adorable girls?

The final picture of these 6 sweethearts on their last day of preschool!

Evie was also lucky enough to have ANOTHER BIRTHDAY PARTY (talk about spoiled) because her Grandparents wanted to be a part of the fun. So we had a family picnic at Valley of Fire! It was the perfect opportunity to get the gang together for some rock climbing fun before the summer heat wave hit and we had a great time! Our kids are so lucky to have Grandparents who live so close and are able to celebrate every holiday with us and this was no exception! My Mom also brought some neighbor kids she was babysitting with her so my kids could have some playmates! It was perfect! We have plenty of adults, but so far very little in the cousin department. Briana is moving out here soon and that will help (she has a 9 month old daughter) but there is very little a tiny baby can do out in the sand dunes. We saw ancient hieroglyphics, dug around in the sand, climbed rocks, and ate yummy food. Another successful party in the books! Oh, and on our way home, we saw wild mustangs! I pulled the car over and took some pictures because I couldn't believe my eyes! I've always heard that they are out there, but I've never actually seen wild horses in person. It was the perfect end to the perfect day!!

Yoga in natures beauty

Rock climbing barefoot like pros!

Digging in the dirt with friends.

Is this cool or what?! Thousands of years old!

Stairs carved out of the rock are all that's left of this ancient civilization.

Evie's face covered in dirt because she kept eating the dirt :)

We love Grandma Helm so much!

Yummy Yummy Picnic!

Family chatting in the shade and having a good ol' time!

Cake and presents were next on the agenda!

Grandma Helm always spoils them rotten :)

Nature still amazes me! WILD HORSES!!!

Since it is the end of the year, Evie said goodbye to dance class and Ms. Vivian and hello to swim lessons! She has loved tap and ballet so so much and will miss it over the summer, but she has also been dying to learn how to swim without a floatie! So onto the next adventure!

I'm going to miss watching this tiny ballerina dance, but we will pick it back up again after summer!

My sweet dolly baby :)

Hello swim lessons! Evie is ready for you!

Besides all of that, here is a little collage of other things we have been up to in between all of those things :):

Planting our pretty garden with my little helper! We planted early and then it got super randomly cold and killed off some of our plants, so we had to start all over again!

Swimming whenever we can, but this has been a very unusually cold spring! It's 80 degrees one minute and 40 degrees the next!

Conveniently using the gift he bought for his Daddy ;)

I can't believe how fast I am starting to show with this baby! It is especially obvious when I'm wearing a swimsuit which is hard because I don't want people to know just yet.

Yoga and Meditation every morning! It keeps me sane....

Enjoying the beautiful days outside

And napping in the afternoons

Skipping along with her best friend (Azalea) every morning as we take their brothers to school :)

Austin has started riding his bike to school and back. Maybe someday he'll let me take the training wheels off?......

Lots of loves from my little love. It has been fun having her home alone with me while Austin is at school :).

And of course there's work. It's not my favorite, but it pays the bills and provides a better life for my family. So there you go.

Now for the moment when I start crying.... Austin graduated from Kindergarten!!!! I still can't believe it! My baby just hit a milestone that makes me proud and breaks my heart all at the same time! Grandpa Nathan came to watch his Graduation Program with me and it was adorable! Daddy had to work and can't take any time off now that he has started a new job and is still in the training phase :(. You win some and you lose some.... I cried while I watched him sing his songs and do his little dances. Then I cried again when he was handed his little diploma! And then I cried again in his classroom when his teacher gave her final farewell speech, and then I cried again when she awarded Austin with the smooth sailor award for not letting anything bother him throughout the year (including the extremely loud fire alarm!). This was such a shock to me because the start of his Kinder year was pretty rough. He cried at drop off for two straight weeks and I wondered if he would ever adjust to leaving me. Apparently he did! And with flying colors!!

My cutie pie singing his songs :)

Getting his diploma from Mrs. Jacobs!

One proud Mommy and one grumpy sister who didn't like her brother being the center of attention.

Austin was so happy Grandpa came to watch him!

Saying goodbye to Mrs. Jacobs was so bittersweet. Austin has been in love with her all year and she has been such a blessing in my life! Austin requires a special teacher who knows how to teach very stubborn kids who would rather not try than be wrong at something. Hence my inability to teach him much during preschool in preparation for Kindergarten. I was so worried he wouldn't get the attention he needed, but I was wrong! She is such a special woman :).

Now, bring on summer and lots of lazy days with my two favorite people! It was hard being so scheduled now that Austin is in school and I've been dying for the days when we could just wake up and go to the pool or sleep in and cook all day together if that's what we feel like doing! :)