Life Within the Cuckoo's Nest: Austin's First Day of Kindergarten!

Meeting his new teacher! Isn't she sweet?! And just look at that happy face :). He was loving Kindergarten Orientation!

His first time at his new desk.

A couple days before school started we went to Kindergarten Open House so we could see Austin's new classroom and meet his teacher! Plus, Ellis Elementary is a brand new school and Austin is one of the first kids to ever go there! So we were very excited to wander around and explore the place! Mrs. Jacobs seems like the perfect person for the job and her sweet nature put all my fears at ease. Austin got to sit at his new desk and color while I filled out paperwork and Evie took it all in. Daddy had to work so we excitedly told him all about it later that night! It was a good intro to this next phase of life and helped us all get a sense of what was about to happen :).

Kindergarten here we come!!

Austin doesn't do well with change, so we have been talking about this day for months; bringing it up randomly in conversation and talking it over with him so he knows exactly what will happen and won't panic last minute like he is famous for doing :). But you know who was doing the panicking? ME! I cried every day and every night the entire week before school started and even made myself sick and had Laryngitis so bad I could barely talk his entire first week of school... I couldn't help it. My first born was starting school which meant all sorts of change was about to happen. Long gone would be the days of waking up whenever we felt like it and spending the day baking away in the kitchen, or going for an early morning swim, or enjoying fun art and gym classes at the Recreation Center. I felt like I was kissing Austin's babyhood goodbye and the thought was killing me. I couldn't even remember what it felt like to not have him constantly by my side; fighting for who could be the Alpha wolf in every situation.... yes, Austin might be a shy kid who hates change, but when it comes to who rules the roost, he and I have been duking it out since the day he was born! I guess that's how it goes with your first born and as I looked back on all of our amazing memories together, I realized that I loved the tough memories just as much as the easy ones. One night in particular, when I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe, I told Josh that I felt like I was mourning the loss of my son which sounded insane since he's not dying. But in a way I was. I was mourning the end to a beautiful way of life; a beautiful five straight years of nonstop friendship and zero personal space. I knew there was so much more excitement to come but I needed that mourning period. So I asked everyone in our extended family to give me space and I became very reclusive that week. Apparently it was just what I needed because the night before the first day of school I was like an excited Kindergartner again; happily laying out his clothes for him and helping him pack his first lunch :).

The night before school started, Austin fell asleep in our bed while cuddling and listening to General Conference talks with us. I silently cried the entire time.....

On that first day of school, Austin woke up at 6:30am and had us all smiling with his contagious smile and exuberant excitement :). Josh took the morning off so he could be there for this big occasion and it meant the world to us to have him there. If anything, he helped calm down our nervous but excited energy like he always does since he is the balance of the family. We dropped Evie off at preschool as a family and Austin sweetly hugged and kissed her goodbye. This was the first day he wouldn't be staying with her at that school and he was beyond proud of this accomplishment :).

Making the typical walk down the halls of Children's Learning Adventure... only this time Austin wasn't staying!

"Goodbye Evie, I love you so much! Have a good day!" -Austin

Kissing Sissy goodbye. He is the sweetest big brother in the whole world!

Then we took Austin to McDonalds for a special first day of school breakfast and then headed home to take some pictures before school :). Austin kept telling me that he is going to be brave now that he is a Kindergartner so he doesn't need me to kiss his hands (our little tradition that started when he struggled with preschool drop off so I bought a book called "The Kissing Hand" and kissing his hands so he can hold my kiss throughout the day became a way of life). He told me now I can only kiss his cheeks because that's what you do with big boys :). My jaw dropped but I agreed.

You won't find two parents more proud of their boy than we are. You just won't.

The men of the house :). Austin was so happy to have Dad there with him for this big moment!

And the backpack pic :). He loves Batman!!

We got to school early so we could show Dad around campus; but mostly it was because we were just too excited to wait any longer! This was the moment, and we were ready :). At least we thought we were.... We hugged and kissed goodbye and then the bell rang and we all walked into his classroom to help him find his desk and set his backpack down. Austin was excited and didn't show any sign of sadness which really surprised me! He is usually so difficult in moments like these! I found myself thinking that maybe all those pep talks really helped! Then his teacher, Mrs. Jacobs, asked all the kids to sit on the floor for a short story and for the parents to all stand in the back and listen before we left..... and it was "The Kissing Hand....." What are the odds?! Our favorite book! He sat there with all the other little kids listening to the story while all us parents stood in the back silently crying. Then Mrs. Jacobs told all the kids to run over to their Mama's and give them a big kiss because it is now time to say "goodbye"! And THAT'S when he fell apart. He couldn't see me at first so I went over to him and knelt down beside him to say goodbye when he suddenly buried his face in my lap and sobbed. Which of course made me start crying. AGAIN! Then he jumped up and wrapped his sweet arms around my neck and begged me not to go. I reminded him of how brave he is and I made a pact with him that if he stops crying, I will stop crying. We both found our composure again and he found his courage. I had to leave but my heart felt like scooping him up in my arms and running away. But if he could be brave, then so could I. So I kissed both of his cheeks and both hands as well for good measure, and headed for the door. I knew if I stopped then I would fall apart again so I kept walking until I was officially out of the classroom. That's when I ran into some friends in the ward and one of them hugged me tight and let me cry for a good moment while we all shared our heartbreak. We are so lucky to live in such a beautiful community where we have so many friends who all have little kids to play with. We have had countless play dates and parties over the years and I don't know what I'd do without these women.

Saying Goodbye....

Oh my sweet boy, you will never know how much you mean to me!

Showing Daddy his desk since he didn't get to go with us to orientation!

Reading "The Kissing Hand" at story time. Right before the tears began....

After that I headed down the street to Jolly Beans Cafe where I was meeting some other mother's from Austin's class so we could all talk, calm down with a cup of coffee, and take solace in the camaraderie of the moment. It was so comforting to know that I wasn't alone with all of these crazy emotions I was experiencing. I spent the rest of the day kid-free which of course meant running as many errands as I could before it was time to pick Austin back up again. It is rare to get some time alone and there are some errands that are just better done sans kids. Plus, I really didn't want to be alone at the moment because I knew the dark depression that would ensue....so I had a VERY busy day and before I knew it, I was back at the school eagerly awaiting his classroom door to open so I could see his smiling face!

Austin stated that he had a GREAT day! He was all smiles and spent all of dinner time telling us about all of his new adventures! So much so, that he forgot to eat! We loved listening to his adventures and although we had missed him all day, I knew this was right. He was exactly where he should be and he was loving it :). And we get to walk to school every day (Austin likes to ride his scooter while Evie runs beside him) which is something we are ALL loving!! It feels like a suburban dream come true each morning as I jog with the stroller happily behind them :).

Our morning walks to school! This is probably the best part of our entire morning right here!

You can tell that he is having big days at school because he sleeps so much better nowadays! I sure do love my two handsome boys :).

Fast forward to today. We are nearing the end of the second week of school and we have had our ups and downs, but mostly ups so we are doing pretty dang good! After that first day, Austin started struggling with school drop off (as he did with preschool drop off years before). He cried every single morning and clung to my leg. I've given so many pep talks in the past two weeks that I feel I could be hired as a football coach and would be great at it! Each day he walked a little further away from me on his own and the tears became less and less. Until today when he officially went onto the playground without holding my hand and didn't shed a single tear! When the bell rang he ran to his teacher and got in line without a hiccup! YES!! We have officially gotten this drop off thing down! :) Oh and I have to mention that after his first week of school Austin and Dad went to the grocery store and my sweet boy came home with roses for Mama, thanking me for everything. I cried then, and I'm crying now just remembering! Motherhood is amazing! I wouldn't trade any of this for all the money in the world :). Now Evie and I are learning how to just be the two of us with Austin away. At first I felt like I was constantly counting heads because it felt like someone was always missing! But now, we are learning to really enjoy this time alone! We do all things girly and are both LOVING IT!!!