Goodbye Grandpa Cooley :(

Evie with Cousins Jessica and Kaden.

My Grandpa Cooley (my Mom's Dad) has been going downhill quickly over the past year. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease along with Louie Body (not sure the details there) and has basically been slowly deteriorating. Well, in April the downhill slope became even steeper and he died the week before Evelyne's 2nd Birthday :(.

I wasn't able to see him again before he died, but Diana (my Step-Grandmother) told me it wouldn't make a difference anyway because he was so out of it. So she held the phone up to his ear and let me say my goodbyes. I told him how much I loved him and how thankful I was for the many beautiful memories I had with him. He couldn't remember my name, and five minutes later he forgot we had even talked, but I felt much better having gotten to say my peace. And I got to hear him say "I love you" one last time which was good enough for me.

I am so grateful we were able to meet up with Grandpa last summer while we were in Utah! Now, hopefully, my kids will have one last memory with him when he was still fully functional!

Josh wasn't able to take time off for the funeral so Briana went with me and the kids. We stayed with my in-laws who also went with us to the funeral to help out with the kiddos so I could pay attention. They are seriously so amazing! I really hit the jackpot in the in-law department!

My sweet Mother in law got the kids ready for me so I had one less thing to do!

We stopped in to see my Dad on the drive up there which was surprisingly good! It seems like I always leave his house feeling let down and sad, but not this time! This time he was in a good mood! Relaxed! He was able to sit with us on the porch and talk while we watched the kids play. It was so special and rare. Sadly, Austin was in a bad mood because we had been driving since 3am so he kinda ruined it with whining and crying. Oh, and while we were chatting on the porch, he accidentally put the car into neutral and my car started rolling backwards right into traffic with both my babies inside of it!!!!! I was like a ninja, jumping to my feet, running as fast as I could, opening the door, and jamming the gear shift into park again. Talk about adrenaline rush! It's always interesting with that kid around.....

My Dad wasn't wearing a shirt and I don't think he had shaved in months but I didn't even care what he looked like because he was acting normal for once! No crazy brain damage talk, just peaceful chatter. Thank you God! I really needed that!

The car accident has greatly affected his ability to walk etc. but after our last encounter, I was more worried that his brain would be damaged forever! I can't stop explaining how excited I was to hear him talk like a normal human again!

I left the kids with Janis & Steve so Briana and I could attend the viewing peacefully. I was glad I did because my Mom and her family were a mess.... My Mom was completely aloof, distanced and detached. I hadn't seen her in weeks because she was in rehab and she barely acted like she wanted to see me. I was glad I didn't bring Austin because that would have been heartbreaking for him. Basically Grandma is his favorite person in the whole world and she has eyes only for him. So I stood/sat there, watching the slideshow they had made of Grandpa's life and reminiscing with everyone. I cried when I saw him in the casket and went up to him to say my goodbye's in person. But overall, I know he is in a better place and is no longer suffering. That last week for him was horrible, fighting for every breath. I was so glad the torment was over for him. Diana however, was NOT doing so good and I was really worried about her.... still am. She has been struggling with her health as well and she was refusing to go to the ER because she was worried they would admit her and she wouldn't be able to attend the funeral. I get that. but she really did look terrible :(. It made me reflect on my own love for my husband and how I would feel if it were Josh lying there in a casket :(....

Family talking and giving love/support at the viewing.

The next day was the funeral and the whole gang was there! Austin and Eve were confused at Grandpa's stillness and questioned why he didn't wake up. Their sweet reverence though, and innocent kisses on his forehead (without being prompted) made us all tear up. The second they saw my Mom they were running and screaming into her arms! they mauled her with kisses and I saw her cheer up for the first time in a while. She had been in rehab for almost two months and that's longer than they have ever gone without seeing each other. Their reuniting was a special moment to witness.

Loving on Great Grandma Wiegel. This was a very hard time for her. She and my Grandpa had been divorced for almost 10 years now but they were married for almost 40 years and still had love for each other. I was so glad she was mentioned during the service as playing a large part in his life. She deserved it! So sad!!!

Austin wouldn't let Grandma out of his sight once they were reunited :).

A beautiful service.

The funeral was beautiful, and very musical. I'm guessing nobody wanted to give a talk so they all volunteered to play a song instead. Some songs were good, others not so good haha, but I could feel my Grandpa smiling as he watched them try their best in his honor. Throughout the funeral I was chasing the kids, until I finally passed them off to my in-laws who took them out for the second half of the service. Austin kept running back inside the chapel though and there was one point when I had to drag him out kicking and screaming because he had almost knocked over the beautiful flowers next to the casket. At the end of the service they opened the microphone up for anyone to get up and speak. I was the first to go up there and cried my heart out as I talked about what an amazing school teacher he was and how many lives of uncounted children he had touched throughout the years. I talked about what a big part he had played in keeping our family afloat after my Mom had Briana and we had to move in with my Grandparents because we were past the point of poverty.

 I loved watching my kids as we laid Grandpa to rest at the graveside. They were so oblivious to the sadness around them. They were caught up in their own world of picking dandelions and loading my Mom's pockets with them :). Childhood is so beautiful that way.

My sweet, beautiful boy.

Picking flowers....

Loading Grandma's pockets with their beautiful finds....

Then, after the service was completed and all the pallbearers were told to place their boutonnières on the coffin, Austin walked up to Uncle Creg (my Mom's brother), handed him a dandelion, and asked him if he would give it to Grandpa. Insert tears here!!! I snapped the most beautiful picture of the moment and will forever cherish it! Then, as we were loading the kids into the car and had all the windows rolled down, Austin started talking to someone outside of his window! I listened harder and could hear him saying, "Goodbye Grandpa.... I love you!" I knew right there and then that my Grandpa was standing next to the car, telling Austin goodbye before we drove away from his final resting place, and my sweet boy could see him. Austin did the same thing when we laid Grandpa Art to rest. He is a special boy with a special gift. He is sensitive to energies and I can give all sorts of stories of when I witnessed him talking to someone I couldn't see. I'm pretty sure one of those was Evie before she was born!

THIS is the picture I was talking about! How sweet is this?!

Oh Evie, always spreading joy wherever you go!

Family is forever!

I love them all so much!

The luncheon afterwards was enjoyable and it was nice talking with family and encountering family members who haven't seen me since I was a little girl! It was a sad, but beautiful day.

Goodbye Grandpa. Enjoy heaven and have a wonderful rest! You deserve it. You were always taking care of family members here.... and Lord knows there were plenty of family members to take care of! Everyone knew they could always count on you. Even when you didn't have the  money, you found what you could spare to help us pay our rent, or get my Mom out of financial trouble time after time after time. You were a saint. I love you.


Before we left for the long drive back home, we had dinner with Nick and his family at Paradise Bakery. It was nice to focus on something happy for a while. The kids had a great time chasing Cousin Brandon around the restaurant and I had fun catching up with Josh's family :). There's nothing like a funeral to make you grateful for family!

I am so thankful for Josh's family and the support they are to us!