Life Within the Cuckoo's Nest: LaFeber Life Lately

This is us recovering from quite the crazy month! We have all been through the ringer (me especially) and were so so happy to finally have a weekend at home, ALONE, to spend with our little family! I seriously felt like yelling, "together at last!"

Watching TV together and cuddling with our babies!

Austin and Eve were both so happy to have us all together again.

We made a bed on the living room floor out of pillows and the love sac and basically spent the entire weekend there!

After our movie weekend, Austin had his 2 year doctor's appointment and got his last shot until Kindergarten! Yay!! He is 27lbs and is in the 25th-50th percentile in height and weight. They also did a heel prick to check his hemoglobin which was in the excellent range so now we know he is getting good nutrients despite his insane pickiness! He did so good in the waiting room. Never in my life have I ever seen him sit nicely in a chair as we waited for the doctor!

He cried for a minute after he got his shot, but quickly forgot about the pain when he got his sticker and sucker :). He quickly devoured the sucker on the drive home and spent the rest of the ride peeling off his bandaids.

What on Earth could we possibly be recovering from to put us into a movie come for two straight days you ask? This.......

This is a newspaper article from the Deseret News, and that pedestrian is my Dad.

I was having a horrible day. I was trying so hard to get the kids ready and out the door for Austin's tumbling class. I attempted to use the restroom before we left and when I came out I witnessed Austin spraying Eve in the face with a bottle of bleach!! I was mortified! How could he possibly have climbed up and gotten that spray bottle in the two short minutes I used to pee?? I couldn't contain my anger which left Austin crying as I put Eve in the sink and tried the best I could to rinse the bleach out of her eyes and off her skin without drowning her. It was traumatic to say the least. We still made it to his tumbling class, but neither of us were in the mood to have fun, including Austin. We spent the whole hour on the sidelines watching the other kids.


Our fun day at tumbling class.... (insert sarcasm here).

When we got home, I got a phone call from my Grandma Helm. I ignored it because I wasn't in the mood to chat but when I instantly got another phone call from my Uncle Kenneth, I realized something must be wrong and called back. "Your Dad was hit by a car and is in a coma" still rings in my ears. I called Sadie and 30 minutes later the kids and I were at my Grandma's house in Boulder City with My Uncle Ken, Aunt Diana, and Sadie calling the hospital and making a game plan.

From what I could gather from the Social Worker on the Trauma ICU unit at the Intermountain Medical Center, He was crossing the street on 3300 S. and 800 W. when a car ran him over going 45 mph. He was transported to the nearest hospital but the police took his wallet and phone so he was sent without any identification. Because of this, it took them five days to contact us. So for five days my Dad was alone and dying in a hospital bed. I told the Social Worker to tell him we were on our way and she said he started crying when he heard that. It broke my heart as I imagined what had been going through his mind. Did he think he would die without being able to say goodbye? Was he remorseful for not being the greatest Dad over the past five years and wishing he could have a second chance? We were told he was being heavily sedated into an almost coma to help his brain heal since he had a traumatic brain injury. He also had his jaw wired shut and was trached and had a ventilator breathing for him through his neck so he had no means of communication.

Once we figured out it was best to drive rather than fly, I drove home and got packed up, dropped Austin off at my friend Kiley's house until Josh could come get him, and left with Sadie to SLC! Austin knew there was something bad going on and didn't want me to leave him. He cried and screamed as I left him, making me feel like a horrible Mother. I just couldn't take him with me! I didn't know how long I'd be gone and having two kids along with me as I tried to care for my Dad in the hospital would be wayyy too much. I felt so much better when Kiley sent me this picture an hour later and told me he was fine :).

Apparently he grabbed the baseball and the walkie talkie and cuddled up on the couch to watch his favorite show Caillou :).

We drove all through the night and got into my Mother-in-Law's house early in the morning. We caught a couple hours of shut eye and then got ready, left the baby with her Grandma R., and headed to the hospital. The scene we walked in on as we entered the ICU was horrifying to both of us. There was my Dad, looking like hamburger meat, attempting to get up and fight all the nurses and therapists there who were trying to talk to him and get him to calm down. My Grandma Helm and Kenneth were there in the background at a total loss as to what to do. My Dad was inconsolable and his inability to communicate with us made it so hard! I, the person who had been so strong for the past two days, keeping my sobbing sister in check as I pushed back the tears and took charge of the plans, wasn't strong enough for this. I was so grateful for Sadie at this moment because she stepped up and put my Dad in his place. She got him calmed down and worked with him to figure out what he was thinking, why he was so upset, and what he wanted. Through lip reading and him trying to scribble on a note pad, we finally figured out he had been tied down to the bed that night because he was coming out of the sedation and kept trying to pull his tracheostomy out. He was upset about this and was trying to tell the nurse who did that to him to get the hell out of his room. He had no idea where he was or why he was there which had him totally confused and upset.

Over the next week, we stayed there from morning until night, constantly reminding him of where he was and why he was there. Between the brain damage and the narcotics, his short term memory was seriously damaged and he forgot everything we said to him minutes after we said it. It was beyond tiring trying to keep him calm and so draining having the same conversations over and over again with someone who couldn't talk back and who got super upset when we couldn't understand his lips when he tried to tell us stuff. We barely slept and hardly ate. I lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks over all of this. At night I would come home to my in-laws, nurse my baby to sleep, get up in the night a few times with her, and then get up again in the morning to leave ASAP for the hospital. I tried to keep up with Austin as much as possible by calling and Face-Timing with him at home when he was with Josh and then at my Mom's house while Josh was working. It made me feel so much better to know he was having the time of his life playing at Grandma's house and he didn't have much time or interest in talking on the phone.

The pictures below are in chronological order from the time we first saw my Dad to the time we had to leave him so I could go back to work and get my home life in order so I could come back again four days later!

He actually looked pretty good for all the damage that had been done to his poor body! His list of injuries included: A broken spine that had to be fused from T3-T11, Traumatic brain damage, a shattered humerus, every bone in his face was broken, his jaw was wired shut because it was shattered, a collapsed lung (pneumothorax) that had to be drained with a chest tube, and his left leg was completely separated at the knee but wouldn't be fixed until the following week because his four surgeries had to go in order of necessity.

My poor Daddy :(...

His whole body was so swollen! Until they got the chest tube in to drain the fluid out of his lungs he struggled with breathing and that ventilator at his neck was the only thing keeping him alive!

Before we left, we bought him a teddy bear to keep him company while we were gone. He sleeps with it every night :).

My second trip was done solo with the baby. Sadie had to work longer and couldn't come until a few days later. I brought Eve with me to the hospital the morning we got to SLC and it was such a beautiful moment! My Dad actually got out of bed to hold her! He suddenly realized he had a reason to live and had a renewed energy about him! He cried and sang "You Are My Sunshine" to her over and over again. The brain damage made it so he couldn't remember all the words so he made up his own version about fishing and "all the little fishies." :). Eve did her special talking with her eyes thing and the two of them bonded so strongly! He told her he now knew why God didn't take him.

Their special moment :).

Grandma was also there for a few days before she went back home to recuperate. We decided to take turns being in SLC so he wouldn't ever be alone.

Dad's front two teeth were knocked out in the accident so he looks kinda silly until that gets fixed. It's on the long list of things to do to get him back to normal again.

During that trip he improved so much! He walked a few steps, and I was able to take him for a ride around the floor in his wheel chair! He was so happy to get out of that room. He kept smiling and saying hi to everyone we passed by :).

This is how he communicated with us until the swelling in his neck went down enough for them to put a speaking valve on his trache so he could talk. It was so frustrating because his hands were too swollen for him to write well so we never knew what he was trying to say.

Just as things were starting to look up, a horrible moment occurred. It was a Sunday and I found some people from the church wandering around, administering the sacrament to the patients on the floor. I asked them if they would come with me and meet my Dad. As I entered his room, I could tell he wasn't doing good. He was happy I had brought the priesthood with me and told me it was an answer to the prayers he had been saying all morning. Apparently he was begging God to let him die..... Everyone in the room cried as the sacrament was administered to him because the spirit was so strong and because his gratitude couldn't have been more evident. He mouthed along with the prayer as it was being said and cried as he touched the bread and water to his lips because he was unable to eat food yet (he was being fed through a feeding tube in his stomach). They gave him a priesthood blessing and left with a promise to come back soon.

After they left, all hell broke loose. Suddenly my Dad didn't look so good. He started complaining that he couldn't feel his legs, and then he became totally paralyzed from his chest down! He got confused and disoriented and couldn't remember anybody's names. Then, suddenly, he started saying everything was going black and he couldn't see! I was freaking out and yelled for the nurse. She came in and like a total idiot acted like he was fine and probably just wanted attention... I wasn't going to accept that crap so I ran to the hallway and found a bunch of doctors and told them we needed them ASAP! As they came running into the room, Dad became completely unresponsive with his eyes open. No yelling, shaking, or clapping in front of his face could get him to wake up! I was bawling at this point and was begging them to check him for stroke or seizure. Then, he suddenly snapped out of it and for a few minutes came back to us! He still couldn't see anything though and it was like he was in another dimension because the only person he COULD see was his Dad who had died when I was about five years old!! He kept talking to his Dad and couldn't understand why my Grandpa wouldn't let him go with him through the door.... He kept saying, "Why is he closing the door? Why won't he let me go with him? Is he mad at me? I don't understand!" We were trying to talk to him and explain to him that Grandpa was dead and he was probably telling him it wasn't his time to join him in heaven yet but Dad's head was not in the right place to understand all that. He became unresponsive two more times after that and the doctors made orders to get a CT scan done on his brain, blood tests, and an EEG to check for seizures. I went with the orderly to wheel him down to get the CT scan and the whole time he was hallucinating. He kept seeing his dog, Bear, and kept thinking Bear was running around biting people. He was apologizing to everyone and could not stop talking about how sorry he was that Bear was here! Nothing I said was bringing him back to reality so I just went along with it and cried.

I cried, and I cried, and I cried. This was the first time I had cried over the entire situation since I got the awful phone call that he was in the hospital and there was no stopping it this time. By the end of the day he was more in touch with reality but it was like he had been struck with a depression stick and he was lower than low. Now he was talking about death and didn't have a drop of hope or desire left in him to live. I finally couldn't take it any longer and told him to knock it off! I told him now was the time to get to work and to stop complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves. That shut him up but he didn't truly become happy again until I snuck a chocolate shake into him from the cafeteria and he had his first actual meal by mouth in weeks! I now swear that there is nothing chocolate can't fix because he was a totally different person after that!

Getting his EEG done. The crazy part of this whole story is all the tests came back negative for seizure or stroke! So they sent a Psychiatrist in to talk about psychological issues because apparently the brain can make the body do some pretty crazy stuff when it is distressed. I was happy to see the Psych doctor though because despite all this, my Dad has always had some serious mental issues and we have never been able to get him to agree that he needs help! The Psychiatrist interviewed me and then him and decided my Dad is Bipolar and put him on Depakote, a mood stabilizer.

Sadie left work early and showed up at the hospital that night because we thought my Dad was dying when he was passing out and talking to dead people. I was happy she came early because Grandma left the next day and I really didn't want to be alone.

I don't know what I would have done without Sadie by my side through all of this! We have gone through so much stress and so much emotional chaos and there were more moments than I can count when we kept each other stable.

Sitting in the hospital room while Dad was up doing his physical therapy.

I took a plane flight home with the baby the first trip because Sadie wanted to stay longer and I couldn't miss any more work. Eve did so well on the plane and I just happened to sit next to a friend from nursing school!

I couldn't handle two straight weeks of hospital drama and took a day off. I spent the morning taking a walk with my baby and refilling my soul with the happiness she brings me!

Then we went and visited her cousins who hadn't met her yet! (Nick's family)

The girls were completely taken with her.

Especially Macey! They were so cute!

Eve had a great time with her Grandparents while I was away and I loved getting random pictures sent to me throughout the day showing me that she was fine so I could focus on helping my Dad!

Each time I came home to Nevada, I went to work and then spent the rest of the days making up for lost time with my Bubba man!

Taking my boy out for lunch at the Tropical Smoothie Cafe (Austin's favorite!).

The next tumbling class was much better! We were all so happy to be together!

While I was gone, Austin was having a great time! He got to go camping up at Pine Valley with my Mom and her side of the family! This was his first camping trip and I was so sad I missed it!

He had a great time playing in the water with cousin Jessica!

Throwing rocks!

I love this goof ball so much!

Going for hikes with Grandma and Buster.

Just a boy and his dog....

I think he must have been tired.... haha ;)

He also got to play at the park every morning!

And go to the library!

And play in the pool on the front deck at Grandma's house!

Grandma said the library was a big hit and they went there multiple times :).

Before all the drama occurred, we were doing pretty good! I had been struggling with hormonal depression but didn't let it stop me from having fun with my beautiful family! It is amazing how fast things can change. One minute you are complaining about the monotony of life, and the next minute you are begging for life to calm down and become monotonous again! Here's some pics of what we had been doing before things got crazy: