Milestones: 5 Months Old

This pic is a little blurry, but it captures perfectly his big cheezy smile!

This little bundle of joy is 5 months old! He has been so much fun and is constantly smiling this huge open mouthed smile! We have started working on sleeping in his crib now because he has almost grown out of his bassinet (sad) and now that he has learned how to roll over, he thinks he needs to do it all the time! That calls for a bed with more moving room. It's kinda scary though because every time I go into his room to check on him, I never know what position he will be in or where exactly he will be! One night I could hear him crying but I couldn't find him and it turned out that he had pushed himself clear down to the bottom of the crib and was underneath the blankets! Last night I woke up to him crying and found him stuck in between the mattress and the bumper with his arm hanging out from underneath the bumper. Don't ask me how he did this because It seems impossible but this child has a very strong will so I'm not surprised. Since he was a newborn he has been able to do anything he put his mind to. That includes staying up all day without a nap until Mom got home from work because he couldn't figure out where I had gone, or rocking himself back and forth for hours until he finally figured out how to roll over!

Austi's face when he finally rolled over! He seemed so surprised!

Someone's going to be crawling soon!

Every time we turn around his has rolled from his back onto his stomach. Now he just needs to learn how to roll back over onto his back because once he gets onto his stomach he doesn't know what to do so he starts fussing until we roll him onto his back again. But you can bet that once we do that, he will be back onto his stomach in less than a minute!

His "come and roll me back over" face

 

He is also very strong and when I stand him up and hold his hands, he can walk! But my Mom warned me to not let him walk until he crawls first because it supposedly can cause developmental issues so I have stopped doing that.

 

I was so worried to not have him by my side at night but this separate bedroom thing has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. He actually takes naps now! I don't know why but now that he has his own room he actually sleeps, and we are talking for hours! Hallelujah! He also sleeps all throughout the night and only wakes up once at 4am to eat and then is up and ready to play by 7am.

 

He is a huge Momma's boy and is content to let people hold him as long as I am in his line of vision.

The "I want my Momma" gesture that I am constantly getting nowadays.

He says Ma-ma a lot, but we're not sure if he actually knows what it means, or if it's just one of the many sounds he knows how to make. Once when Josh was holding him and Austin was getting fussy and wanting me, we swore we heard him say, "I want my Mama!" It came out so clearly and we both stared at each other like, did that just happen?!

 

He is also a huge fan of his Daddy. Josh can be such a dork sometimes but Austin loves it. They play and exchange baby-talk constantly and it makes me so happy to watch and see them connect on their own "special" level. Josh keeps saying he can't wait for Austin to grow up so they can go play! That's code for I really want my football buddy to actually be able to throw a football.  

Two of a kind!

Cheering on the 49'ers

Wrestling in the living room

 

He is the best thing to wake up to in the morning because he is so happy! He gets so excited when he sees you coming for him and you can't help but laugh!

Baby boy in his jammies

He loves his toys and has to be constantly surrounded by them. I hope he likes the ones we got him for Christmas! They might be a little old for him but I can already see him getting bored with the ones he has.

playing with his little puppy while holding his keys around his wrist. Silly boy tries to hold onto all his toys at once if he can manage it.

Austin has also become extremely grabby. If he sees it, he wants it! This makes it difficult when you are holding him and trying to simultaneously get things done because he will try and grab onto everything you are holding/working with. I love how interested he has become with his surroundings and how exciting it is to him to explore new things.

 

My favorite Momma/Austi moments at 5 months is when I am feeding him and he plays with my hair (a new discovery) and traces my face with his finger. It is the sweetest thing and it makes me feel so loved and at peace.

 

I also find it totally adorable that he sucks his thumb now and puts his pointer finger up around his nose while he does it. He has always been a fist sucker, or just shoves his whole hand in his mouth until he makes himself gag. But now that he is getting better at using his hands, he is finding his thumb to be a really tasty snack.

 

I also think he is starting the process of teething. He gets cranky at times and you can't figure out what's going on. Plus he is constantly drooling to the point of getting his shirts and blankets soaking wet.

Utah Trip

My best friend/roommate from college got married the first week of December so Austin and I got to make a quick trip to Utah! Susie and I clicked right from the start when we met at a mutual friend's dinner party and have continued to remain close, even though I now live in Nevada and she lives in California. We have been through it all together... boyfriends, breakups, illness, roommate drama, death, working as CNA's, nursing school, late night McDonalds runs, running around the Avenues to burn off all the calories we ate from those McDonalds runs, country dancing, random trip at midnight to Vegas after the Utah version of dancing turned out to be really lame, and so so much more! But most importantly, we were always there for each other to talk and be a support system when we were young, naïve, and far from home. Plus, I never would have met Josh if it weren't for Susie! She's the one who set us up on the blind date that decided our fate for eternity! So you could say I owe her a lot :).



Austin did so great on the flight to Utah. He slept the entire time and woke up right as the plane landed! The trip back home wasn't so nice though. He cried the entire time and stopped right as the plane landed.... Oh well, it was worth it. C'est la vie!

We stayed with Josh's Mom/Step-Dad for three days and had a great time! Utah was its usual cold, snowy self and it made me really home sick for the old days. Don't get me wrong, I love our home in Nevada and I love that we don't have to get up an hour early to shovel our car out or put salt on the ground. But there is something about Utah that will always be home. My favorite memory of this trip was sitting around the living room in front of the fire while it snowed outside with Christmas music in the background and watching Austin play with the Christmas tree. It was so picturesque, I was in heaven!

He loved that tree! I think it's because of all the bells.

Austin playing with the bells he just removed from Grandma R's tree.

The first day we did a little shopping and stopped at Santa's village to take some pictures. This was Austin's first experience with true cold weather and he wasn't very thrilled about having to wear a jacket. He is such a funny baby. Since the day he was born, he hasn't liked to be restricted. He has never been a baby you could bundle or swaddle. But he looked so stinking cute in his little jacket so it was worth having to hear him complain about it every time I put it on ;).

Thanks Grandma and Grandpa R. for my cute jacket!

visiting Santa's house!

We love Grandma!

We also went out to Dinner at the Olive Garden and then drove around Layton looking at all the Christmas lights! Austin slept the whole time so I actually got to enjoy it!

Sleepy boy! We had a busy day!

The next day I went to the temple for the wedding sealing but I was an hour early so I walked around the temple grounds and saw the nativity and then hung out at the visitor's center because it got too cold! The sealing was beautiful and Susie looked gorgeous. I had to leave right afterwards so I could feed Austin but we came back later for the reception at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and had a great time! I got to see friends that I haven't seen in forever and meet members of Susie's family that I've heard about, but never been able to meet in person. Janis went with me to the reception to help me with Austin so I could actually go around and socialize and I am so glad she did! I was worried that she would be bored or feel left out but she ended up finding an old friend from her childhood that she got to catch up with so it all worked out!

Our little stud in front of the big tree at the JSM Building

I was so excited to see this girl (Sarah Butters Anderson)! She got married the day before I did and then I never heard from her again so to say we had a lot to catch up on was an understatement.

This poor baby was so wiped out by the end of the night and honestly, so was I!

Susie and Brian make such a beautiful couple and I wish them all the luck and joy in the world! I had so many memories flooding into my mind the whole day and it made me realize what a wonderful life I have had! The fact that I got to be on Temple Square looking at the lights on December 5th has so much meaning all in itself because that is the day I went on my first date with Josh and we went to temple square to look at the lights! I wished so badly he could have been there to experience all this with us, but he couldn't get it off of work :(.

The next day Janis, Austin, and I met up with Jen (my sister in law) for brunch at a cute breakfast place in Sugarhouse. We talked, and laughed, and had a great time walking around the pharmacy across the street. I know that sounds strange but this pharmacy was more like a boutique with all of its adorable gifts and Christmas decorations. After that, we stopped at my Dad's house and Austin got to meet his Grandpa Helm for the first time. My Dad and I have what you could call an "interesting relationship" so this was very special to me that we were able to see him and enjoy this bonding moment. Next on the list was a stop at Sonic for a yummy flavored soda (a must have when you are spending the day with Janis) and then we spent the rest of the time at the house relaxing by the Christmas tree, reading, and playing with Austin. Grandma and Grandpa had so much fun with him that he never once had a moment to himself! We had to fly out later that night so Grandma had to make sure she got in all her cuddles and kisses for the day. I was sad to leave when the time came to head to the airport. The only thing that could have made this trip better would have been to have Josh there with us! Next time :).

The Dog Days Are Over

I wanted to write this a week ago, but Thanksgiving week was pretty busy so I am just now getting a chance. This post is a continuation of the TORN post that I wrote a couple of weeks ago.

First of all, I have to say I was overwhelmed by how much love I was shown after I wrote that post. I was instantly bombarded by texts, and phone calls from friends and family full of love and support for me and words of wisdom to help me through the situation I am in. However, being the "I don't like people coddling over me" person that I am, I was instantly regretting that I had written it. I seriously thought about deleting it at least 5 times, but I couldn't. Why, you ask? Because I know there will be a time in my life when I will want to remember what it was like to be a first time Mom and the true feelings that I felt, not just the perfect pictures of me smiling all the time. Plus, how can I express what I've learned over the past few weeks if I delete why I learned it?

So here it goes... my learning experiences. The ironic part about these experiences is that they all happened while I was at work! And wasn't work the thing that I was complaining about to begin with? Yes, yes it was. So I have come to the realization that God has put me in this situation because he knows this is the best place for me to learn.

Lesson #1: It all started when I was in a patient's room on the Med/Surg floor of one of the hospitals I travel to. I was sitting there performing his dialysis and watching my patient closely to make sure he was tolerating everything okay. That's when I noticed his skin. To say it was dry and flaky is an understatement. This poor old man looked like he had just traveled through the Sahara Desert without a drop of water. It looked itchy and painful, and I was glad it was him and not me. Then his wife walked in and I instantly thought, "Oh good! Someone who loves him and will take care of his needs!" But sadly, that's not what happened. And what's even more sad is I saw myself in his wife and in what she deemed as important in this situation. She walked into the room, kissed her husband on the forehead and told him that she loved him, and then instantly got to work! She cleaned up spills, organized drawers, and fluffed up his pillows. In fact, she was so OCD about her tasks that she actually made the rest of the staff mad at her later because nobody could find anything! I could tell that in her head, this was her way of showing her love and devotion to her man who was lying sick in the hospital bed. I could see in her eyes what she was thinking because it's exactly what I would be thinking too! "If I make this room perfect and clean, he will feel more comfortable and at home." I was also watching her husband during this time and was trying to figure out what he was thinking about her "business." He watched her with kind eyes and once she was done, he kissed her and told her that he was happy and didn't need anything. Here's the learning part though. Once his wife left, he turned to me and said, "my skin itches so bad. Will you scratch my back?" It was like a bomb had gone off in my head. Here his wife was, cleaning and focusing on her tasks, and never once did she actually LOOK at her husband and notice his skin falling off! This hit me so hard because This is me! She was me! I focus so much on all the tasks to do and think so much about how I want everything to be so perfect all the time, that I forget to slow down and actually look at the people around me and see their needs! I pondered on this as I scratched his back and then decided to grab a bottle of lotion and lather him up with it. This is why I feel so overwhelmed all the time. It's because I have that type A, perfectionist personality that won't ever let me stop and actually focus on the things that I know are more important. So that is when I decided I am going to learn how to slow down. Learn how to not be so task oriented. Learn how to look past the "things to do" and actually look at the people I am so diligently doing them for. This isn't going to be easy, but I know it is something I need to learn or I am going to drive myself crazy.

Lesson #2: I was in the ICU this time, dialyzing the numerous patients there and thinking, "Wow, I really want to go home and see my husband and baby." I then saw a fellow Nephrology Nurse there and went over to her to chat. We went through the usual small talk and then she told me she was going home early today. I was confused since none of us are allowed that luxury right now with the "busy season" starting up and I asked her if she was feeling sick? What she said next left me stunned and I am pretty sure my jaw hit the floor. "Yes" she said. "I have breast cancer and am currently undergoing chemotherapy. I also just has a mastectomy a couple of weeks ago and am still recovering from surgery." Talk about bombshell! "What are you doing here?! Go home and get better!" I found myself saying. Her response is the learning part for me because I suddenly realized that I am not the only one in a "tough" situation and in fact, my situation isn't even that tough compared to hers! She told me that she has used up all of her sick time and needs to continue working so she can keep her health insurance to pay for the medical bills the cancer is racking up. She also informed me that her husband is currently unemployed and she is their only means of making money to survive all of this. SELFISH, UNGRATEFUL, THOUGHTLESS..... these are the words that describe how I felt while I sat there listening to her life story. How can I even once think about how God is punishing me by making me leave my baby to go to work when here my coworker is, battling cancer, and working her butt off to pay for it! How can I even think about complaining that I never get to see my husband because of our work schedules, when here she is telling me that she has to work overtime because her husband can't even find a job to take care of her!

I just want to take a moment and thank these people for teaching me lessons that I will never forget. Thank you for showing me how to be grateful for the beautiful life I have been given and how to love deeper than I thought I was currently loving. And thank you Heavenly Father for giving me these experiences and finding the perfect way to teach me these lessons that I needed to learn. I will never again complain about my life. Okay, maybe not "never," but I will sure try harder not to!

I went running the other night and was listening to the song, "The Dog Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machine (which is where the title of this post comes from) and I suddenly felt this light and energy that I haven't felt in a long time. It felt like this song describes perfectly how I now feel!   

 

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

 

There's more to the song, but you get the point. I am done being sad and overwhelmed. I am done feeling like life is unfair. The dog days are over and I am going to leave all my longing behind. God has blessed me with blessings far beyond my worth and I am basically throwing it back in his face when I complain and don't even acknowledge how generous he is to me.

I have the most beautiful baby in the world and he loves me. In fact, he loves me so much that he can't even sleep throughout the night without wanting me. Am I tired? YES. But would I trade in my son for a full night of sleep? NEVER.

I have a handsome, amazing husband who not only works hard for our family, but comes home and plays with our son, does laundry and grocery shopping on his days off, and surprises me constantly with flowers, doing random chores for me so I don't have to, and gives words of affirmation to let me know that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever known.

I have a job that wears me out but keeps me humble. Every day I take care of people less fortunate than myself and if I put my selfishness away for a while, I can really learn a thing or two from their examples.

Just like last time, I have to go because Austin wants me. But this time I don't see it as a nuisance. I see it as a time for me to get over my need to finish things (like this blog) and go take care of something that really matters. 

Gobble Gobble

 

This Thanksgiving was a total blur of food, family, and fun! It started off with Josh's parents driving down to spend the week with us. We have so much fun when they visit, so we were pretty excited about it! I was working Tuesday night when they got into town but from what I hear, everybody had a lot of fun eating Mexican food from Roberto's and playing with the baby. Josh had to work Wednesday, so Austin and I took the Grandparents to Coco's Bakery to buy the pies for our Thanksgiving feast. Tradition holds that I always make the pies from scratch but with this being our first time hosting Thanksgiving and having little Austin always there needing all my attention, I decided to delegate. After that we went to the mall and Steve/Janis took Austin and I shopping for our Christmas presents! Josh just got cash since he wasn't able to go. I got some super cute clothes and Austin got an adorable sweat suit and football jammies to keep him warm for our trip to Utah! Thanks you guys! We got home just in time for Josh to get home from work and then my Grandma Helm and cousins from Texas (Heather and her son Alex) came to visit! I haven't seen Heather in almost ten years so this was a fun surprise! They were heading out for dinner so they didn't stay long but we enjoyed getting to catch up a bit with them before our next visitors arrived! Josh's brother Nick and his family dropped by to see our new house and Austin for the first time! We got pizza for dinner and had fun talking and catching up with them that night and of course showing off our little man. Austin thought Cousin Porter was hilarious and had fun playing "peek-a-boo" with him. Aunt Jen loved holding him and Austin must have liked it too because she kept him calm while all the little kids ran around like crazies all around him. This was by far our busiest day and before we knew it, it was time to go to sleep so we could be well rested for Thanksgiving! Well, everyone but me that is. Austin still doesn't believe Mom actually needs sleep at night....

Austin meeting our "Texas Cousins" for the first time!

I had delegated most of the difficult jobs out to everyone who was coming over for dinner so the only thing that had me stressed was trying to keep the house clean for guests... a difficult job when you have so many people coming and going! A special thank you to my sweet Mom for bringing over half of her kitchen to make up for everything I was lacking and to Nathan for bringing the turkey! He cooked it in the deep-pit and it was just as yummy as I remembered it being when I was growing up. My sisters also came over with their contributions, as well as Grandma/Grandpa Porter which meant we got to enjoy Grandma Porter's famous frozen fruit salad! Thanks to all these amazing people who we love so much, our first Thanksgiving in our home with our baby was a total success! We had a great time sitting at the table laughing and talking and eating way more than was necessary. It just all tasted so good! There was a point that night when I couldn't take the pain anymore and got Austin all suited up in his warm monkey suit so we could go take a walk with my parents and sisters and work off all that food! Briana and I made the brilliant decision to run and do jumping jacks around the neighborhood which resulted in me feeling even more sick than I was before, but it made for a pretty fun memory :). Pie and football came after that and then everyone started heading for home. By the end of the night, we all had to roll ourselves off to bed. That's how you know it was the perfect Thanksgiving ;)...

Thanksgiving Day with Grandma and Grandpa Porter & Aunt Briana

Thanksgiving Day with Grandma and Grandpa Ronnenkamp

Austin things Aunt Sadie is so great, he literally worships her! haha

Oh how I LOVE my sisters!

You could say we have fun together :).

We love Great Grandma Porter!

Isn't this the cutest little monkey you've ever seen?! Getting ready to go on our walk.

The next day was Black Friday and Josh went with his parents to the Bass Pro Shop. I stayed home with Austin and did some online shopping because I really didn't want to brave the crowds with a baby. Josh came home with this gigantic bass fish stuffed animal for Austin that is literally 3x his size. It was pretty funny seeing Austin try to play with it and watching Josh's excitement when he saw that Austin liked his gift. Josh is seriously the cutest Dad. He is still a child himself so it makes me laugh when I see him interacting with his son. What am I going to do with this massive fish you ask? I.... have.... no..... idea.... but my boys love it so that's all that matters, right? Later that afternoon Janis and Steve babysat Austin so Josh and I could join my family at the movie theaters to see Catching Fire. This was the first movie we had seen in forever and we loved it! My extended family from my Mom's side all went with us so it was quite the party. Even though most of us only live 30 minutes away from each other, we are all so busy that we never get together.

The new member of our family... Austin's fish.

 

Family is the best!

Thanks Grandma and Grandpa for babysitting me!

Steve and Janis left early the next morning and Josh and I spent the rest of the weekend trying to recover from the holiday. We ended up going to the mall as a family to let Josh spend his Christmas money from his parents and eat lunch at the food court. Austin is at such a fun stage where he loves to look around and interact with people so the mall was the perfect place for him. Every store we went into was full of his paparazzi. I love my little family so much. I've thought a lot about what I am most grateful for over this past month and it always comes down to family. Nothing feels more heavenly than being surrounded by the ones you love, laughing, and having a great time.

Milestones: 4 Months Old!

He always wakes up so happy!

Austin is now four months old and just had his four month checkup/shots yesterday. He is such a smart baby. As soon as the doctor walked in he knew exactly what was going to happen and totally freaked out on us.... poor guy :(. Just like last time, he cried for a little bit after the shots and then fell asleep by the time we got to the car. This time I was smarter and gave him the children's Tylenol BEFORE the after-pain set in and he did much better. He was a little grumpy and his legs hurt when you accidentally bumped them but overall he was pretty good. I enjoyed the extra cuddles too :). Josh was a little disheartened when Austin didn't want anything to do with him last night. I felt bad about that and had to explain to him that his son still loves him and that he just isn't feeling well and when you don't feel good you want your Momma!

At four months he is:

-25 inches long
-15lbs 4oz
-his head went from the 25th percentile to the 75th percentile!
-learning how to roll over but hasn't figured out how to get his arm out from under him once he does.
-loves to smile and laugh but refuses to do it for the camera. It's so frustrating!
-no longer taking long naps (sad). He is now a power-napper so we do our best to get things done in the 20-30 minutes we have!
-talking up a storm in his own language. It's so cute because he talks himself to sleep at night and we love laying there in bed listening to him.
-learning how to scream whenever he gets super happy. There was even a day when he lost his voice because he had been screaming so much! It's hilarious! He suddenly gets all this energy and just can't hold it in!
-still breastfeeding like a champ!
-starting to get really attached to Mom and has a hard time letting strangers near him. He instantly looks around to make sure I am there when they come near him.
-loving football time with Daddy. While I am at work Josh sends me pictures of the two of them chillin' in front of the TV. I can't believe he actually lays there and watches it! I think we have a future football player on our hands ;).
-changing almost daily. It seems like he looks different every time I look over at him! I went to Costco the other day to print off pictures and I couldn't believe the difference over the last 2 months!
-having fun with Dad at night playing games with his blanket while Mom is in the shower. Josh will put the blanket over Austin's head and then pull it away really fast and Austin thinks that is hilarious! He has even learned how to do it himself!
-lot more interactive and has fun playing on the floor with is little plastic keys and toy radio.

Pictures over the last month:

Saying his prayers :)

3 1/2 months

4 months: Can  you see a difference?

After his 4 month shots... poor baby :(

Getting cuddles from Mom after his shots

Little Rocky! bath/shower time is so much fun :).

Helping Mom bake brownies in our PJ's on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

I LOVE this outfit! He looks like a chubby guy who is getting ready to hit up the gym!

Giving Mom kisses

Our Austin.... oh how we love him!

Time Out For Women

I got to go to Time Out for Women in St. George for the first time this year and absolutely loved it! I was worried about having a baby there and not being able to pay much attention to the speakers (which was half way accurate) but I still felt the spirit and was able to hear some pretty amazing people give some pretty great talks! It actually was nice having Austin as my excuse to get up and walk around and look at the cool exhibits and stuff to buy while I listened to the talks.

 My family made a "girl trip" out of it which was the best part of the whole trip! My Mom, Briana, and I got a hotel room together and I brought Austin's bassinet so he wouldn't have to sleep on the floor (yuck). We wished we had gotten the room for an extra day because we weren't in it much and the heated indoor pool would have been a lot of fun, but now we know for next year!


I had a lot of fun catching up with my aunt Tammy and cousin Lara who drove down from West Jordan.

All the girls wanted to hold the baby

My Grandma Wiegel lives in St. George now so after TOFW we went over to her house and got to eat ice cream and talk with everyone. It was too hard trying to catch up during the conference so it was nice to have the ability to sit around the living room afterwards and chat.

Austin loves Great Grandma Wiegel! He couldn't stop smiling at her!

Waiting in line at the concession stand during one of the breaks. Yay for pretzels and diet coke!

So..... as my best friends from high school who went to France with me know, I tend to fall in love with giant paintings and then buy them without thought as to how I am going to get them home. What can I say? When I love it, I buy it! So here is the newest addition to our art collection :)... Let's just say it took a lot of effort and ingenuity to get it home.

Trust me, it's much larger in real life

Hanging out with a bunch of women that I love during a whole weekend of feeling the spirit of Christ was exactly what I needed! I can't wait for next year! And what was Josh doing that weekend you ask? His Dad came to visit and the two of them got to enjoy a whole baby-free weekend full of football, buffet lunch, and the movie theater! He can't wait for next year too lol!