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| Catching some much needed rest and sunshine out by the pool on our Babymoon :). |
Everybody says, make sure to take a babymoon before you have your baby because it will be the last time you are alone for a while! We know this fact all too well and made it a priority to take the long Veterans Day weekend for ourselves. We dropped the kids off in Logandale with my Mom and sister for the weekend and then let the relaxing kid-less vacay begin! Well, almost kid-less. The baby bump was with us the whole time :)...
We began the trip by having dinner at
The Cheesecake Factory on our way home from Logandale! Oh how nice it felt to enjoy a meal that didn't have to be devoured in ten minutes before the kids get antsy! We talked and held hands and laughed..... bliss I tell you! In fact, the whole weekend was like that. We were both in such great moods and laughed constantly. It felt like the good old days when we were carefree and only responsible for ourselves. The next day we walked to breakfast at the
New Day Cafe up the street and once again, enjoyed a hot meal in peace :). Then we went to
Marshalls and
Target to browse for fun "spa day" supplies we could utilize during our relaxing hotel stay! It was such a great idea and so much fun! We bought German chocolates, body scrub/lotions, massage oils, face masks, and new pajamas for both of us! It felt like Christmas getting to browse around, coming up with creative ways to pamper ourselves :).
Then we checked into the
Aliante Hotel and Resort and spent the rest of the afternoon lounging by the pool and reading books! Then we grabbed food and brought it up into our hotel room and spent the rest of the night pampering ourselves with all of our creative spa ideas :). It was sooooooo fun and sooooo nice to just be able to take care of ourselves and each other.
We spent the rest of the weekend in what felt like the lap of luxury. We saw two different movies, ate at all the restaurants, spent hours by the pool reading and soaking up sunshine, cuddled in bed and watched football, and slept.....OH THE SLEEP!! It felt like we were constantly sleeping or laying in bed and it was divine! I seriously couldn't have planned a better getaway!
Although it was wonderful, there was still a great deal of anxiety in the back of our minds because right before we went away, I had an OB appointment and they told me that I am measuring 6 inches too small and they are worried about the baby :(. That's my greatest nightmare right now; that something horrible will happen to my baby. Those previous miscarriages really did a number on my mental state in this department and I am constantly trying to push the fear back and live on Faith. But that is difficult when someone tells you they need to do an ultrasound next week to find out if your baby has stopped growing :(. My cousins baby died a couple years back from the same issue so she instantly came to my mind and I was a wreck. But the baby was more than alive during our whole vacation which gave me a sweet sense of comfort that she will be just fine. She moves constantly and is always reminding me of her presence :). It is the best feeling in the world to get those little reminders and to be able to feel her tiny body inside of mine. Josh also gave me a blessing that helped me stay calm, and I did my best to put it all in God's hands.
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| Reading by the pool and eating German chocolate while I tried not to stress about the baby and give it all to God. |
I feel so connected to this child already and cry whenever I start to think about her. She is the last one..... the one I have been waiting so patiently for. I knew after I had Evie that we weren't done. I just knew that there was one more, and I have felt throughout the past four years her ever growing impatience to be here. I thought for sure that my last miscarriage would turn out just fine because I knew we were supposed to have a little one, but when that turned out to be the polar opposite of what I wanted, I began to lose hope. What if I can't carry another child? What if my body just can't do it anymore? Although my doubts in my own body's capabilities were strong, I never doubted my intense feeling that there was one more baby. In fact, it only grew stronger. Josh would joke about how we are already up to our necks in stress and adding another mouth to feed would push us over the edge and I would feel this surge of anger rise up in me because I knew without a doubt that he was wrong. Well, maybe not wrong about all the stress and insanity, but definitely wrong about us being done. So getting the surprise that we were pregnant without trying or planning was really something of a confirmation in my heart that we were finally getting the blessing I had been promised. So every little hiccup that happens along the way spikes fears inside of me that nobody else will ever be able to comprehend, unless it has happened to them.
So here I am, in the third trimester with another rainbow baby (baby born after a miscarriage), feeling huge but so grateful for this blessing. It is getting harder to be patient now that her birth date is right around the corner. Thanksgiving is in two weeks and that means it will be December before we know it!! Her scheduled C-section date is set for January 3, 2020 at 11:30 am :) :) :) :). The knowledge of that date seems to set it all in stone that it is real and actually happening! Josh's Mom and Stepdad will be coming to help us out that first week, for which I am eternally grateful. My family is so unstable and unpredictable right now and I would go insane if I had to rely on any of them. And right now is definitely not the time for added stress! It has been hard enough getting through each day with enough energy to tuck my kids into bed at night, let alone deal with insane family drama. I don't know if I just forgot how hard pregnancy was or if my body is literally giving out on me, but this pregnancy has been HARD! The constant exhaustion, the acid reflux, the nausea, the constant pelvic pain that makes it difficult to walk or move. My sleep is getting less and less enjoyable as I am up to pee multiple times throughout the night and as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable in ANY position. Yes, I am ready. I am ready for her birth. I am ready to hold her in my arms and smell her sweet newborn scent. I am ready to breastfeed and snuggle in bed with her, and have fun with Evie dressing her up like a little princess :). I watch home videos of Austin and Evie when they were little babies and it only makes me want to hold her more! I can't wait to find out what color her hair is and what her skin coloring will be. Austin and Evie are night and day in complexion so it really could go either way! I've had flashbacks of when Evie was born and that odd sensation that came over me as I held her. I was gazing into her beautiful face and seeing Austin! It was such an incredible feeling to be taken back to when Austin was born and to see their similarities. It really was hard for me to differentiate that she was a different child at first! How could she look so much like her brother and yet so different? And how could I have those same intense feelings for her that I have only felt for one other baby and yet I had only known her for mere minutes?? Those emotions were strong and I can't wait to feel them again. I'm crying right now just thinking about them.
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| I just love this picture. Everything about it has my heart from the ocean, to my swollen belly, to the sweet little girl holding my hand :). |
Oh sweet baby girl, your place in our family is already set. Your crib is already set up, your brand new rocking chair is waiting for those late night feedings, your clothes are already bought, washed, and neatly placed in a drawer for you. Your bath time and diaper supplies are already stocked, and you even have a brand new mobile hanging in your crib from your Grandma Janis and Grandpa Steve, just waiting to amuse you :). I only have a couple things left on the checklist that I have been working on since the day I found out you were inside of me. One being the bassinet and setting up your swing! But I will wait on those things because they take up a lot of space. I have been working on clearing out closet space and reorganizing the house to make room for you and am really pleased with the outcome! Our home is small, but I've found the perfect place for you in your sister's room that I know you will love :). It has been a labor of love that I have enjoyed every minute of! It has also given Evie a way to bond with you as I have involved her in the entire process. Austin is a boy, nd away at school most of the time, so he hasn't been involved as much. But yesterday he told me he couldn't wait to have another little sister and he made vegetable soup for me to eat because he wants you to grow healthy and strong. I have let the kids know throughout the whole process how you are doing because it seems to important that the three of you are close. And something tells me that you are going to charm the socks off of all of us, mostly your Daddy :). He rubs my belly and snuggles up to you at night, feeling your kicks and egging you on as he gently pushes on my tummy to get you to kick again :). I was worried at first that we wouldn't have enough love, energy, or time for another baby, but you have already got us all wrapped around your little finger and we don't even know what you look like yet! Now, it just feels like a waiting game..... Your Dad and I have been working this week on getting our Maternity and Paternity leaves all set up so we can spend months with you, bonding and cuddling together. You are so lucky in this regard, because Your siblings didn't get this. Your Dad had to go back to work immediately after the birth of each of them, and I only got 8 weeks at home before I was back at work too. So we plan on enjoying every minute of this time with you, since we know first hand how precious it is. I ordered you a brand new car seat yesterday because the one your siblings used fell apart while I was trying to wash it. Apparently we got 6 years of extremely good use out of it and the poor thing couldn't handle any more LaFeber adventures :). I'm just praying that the new seat will still snap into the strollers because the original version had been discontinued and I know how incredibly expensive this stuff gets..... Christmas is around the corner and along with my nesting, I have been prepping for Christmas extremely early to make this holiday season as relaxing as possible. I want to soak in my last month of being pregnant with you so I can remember it all clearly. I feel you will be our last baby and I don't want to take anything for granted.
As for that ultrasound, everything went great and it looks like you are perfectly healthy! They are estimating that you are already 4lbs (at 31 weeks) and it was obvious that you have a ton of hair already!! This part made me especially giddy :) :). The reason why you are measuring so small is because you enjoy being folded in half like a taco with your toes touching your forehead (Frank Breech I think they call it) and you never seem to move from this position because that's how you were the last ultrasound months ago! So you only look half the normal size because you are literally folded in half! I'm guessing I have a little yogi on my hands and can't wait to teach you!! But hair and positioning aside, I was just so eternally grateful that you look healthy. I guess nothing is final until you are born, but I felt like I could finally breathe again when the ultrasound technician told me you are measuring just fine. Like I said, your welfare feels more fragile than the other kids because I now know how quickly everything can go wrong.
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| If you look closely you can see the hairline and all the fuzzy hair! And the bottom pic is showing the baby's position and how her legs are pressed up against her belly with her feet touching her head! |
We picked up the kids after our long weekend Babymoon and I felt so happy to see them! I thought I'd be dreading going back home, but I woke up that morning dying to hug and kiss them. It was just the right amount of time to get some much needed rest and relaxation and I felt so rejuvenated that following week! It was also so nice to have time alone with Josh since he now works so many hours and our time together is almost nonexistent. When we ARE together, we are separated by children and church callings, household responsibilities, etc. So having this time was special and we treasured every minute of it! The kids had enjoyed a fabulous time at the Veterans Day Parade and playing with the new baby bunnies my Mom and sister bought. They did all sorts of fun things and came home very happy as well :). Gracelynn was so sad to see them go and it broke all of our hearts :(. It has been so fun having a baby cousin to play with and we love her so much! I only wish Sadie was able to live closer so we could raise our babies together as well. Her baby is only going to be 5 months younger than mine and it would be so fun to raise them close together! But unfortunately they are moving to North Carolina soon (he is in the military) so I don't see that happening :(.
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| The kids hanging out with Gracelynn at the dollar store where Uncle Thomas works. |
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| Waiting for candy at the parade! |
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| Parade watching! |
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| Bunny Loves!! |
Anyways, life has been so good lately and I am grateful for it all. Even the ugly days make for good stories and more appreciation on the good days :).
