Milestones: 13 Months Old

I just realized I have still been telling people Austin is 12 months old, when in reality, he has been 13 months now for 6 days! I think I have been in denial. I don't want my baby to grow up!

At 13 Months, Austin is:

- Talking A LOT. Mostly babble, but he has added a few words to his repertoire such as: Baby (whenever he sees a baby or a picture of a baby), more (whenever he wants more food or drink), dog (he loves dogs and says this word constantly throughout the day). He is also learning how to bark like a dog, and the yesterday he learned the word eyes. I have been trying to teach him the different parts of the face and now he walks around poking people in the eye and saying, "eyes!" I also hear him saying "baba" a lot throughout the day which doesn't stop until I give him his bottle. He also says "Jesus" whenever we climb the stairs towards our picture of Christ at the top.

- This kid is so social and he loves other kids! Whether he knows them or not, he wants to be their friend. Sometimes I feel bad for him because the other kids don't always want to play with him (usually because they are 5 years older than him) and he doesn't understand that. He thinks he is big too and doesn't understand why they don't want him tagging along.

- He calls other kids "baby" whether they are actually babies or not. I honestly think he thinks he is an adult like us and sees all the other kids as babies. He is getting better at being gentle with the actual babies which helps me not feel so nervous whenever he runs up to them wanting to pet them like a puppy. All day long he says "baby" and points to all the pictures of himself around the house. He doesn't know that is him..... it's so cute!

- He got his first kiss at the splash pad a few weeks ago. I died laughing, and the mom of the little girl died from being so mortified at her daughter's forwardness. The story went like this, I took Austin to the splash pad to play and get some of his energy out. There was a little black girl his exact same age there and instantly they connected. At first they stood there staring and poking at each other. I think the difference in skin color was the reason for that. They seemed to be in awe! Then they began playing and the two were inseparable. Where one went, the other followed. Her mom and I had a great time just talking and watching them explore together. Then, out of the blue, the little girl went up to Austin, grabbed both of his arms so he couldn't escape, and gave him the biggest kiss! It was such a big kiss that it knocked him off his feet! He just laid there on the ground, stunned. He wouldn't move. He laid there and stared at her, totally confused at what just happened. Like I said earlier, her mom was mortified. She picked Austin up and kept apologizing. I thought the whole thing was too cute for words and told her not to worry about it. From there on out, the little girl chased Austin around the park trying to kiss him and he ran as fast as his little legs could carry him. It was love I tell you! So stinking adorable!

- We also had a not so hilarious experience at the splash pad. Austin loves water. He loves to play in it, and most of all, he loves to drink it. He doesn't care where it comes from or how disgusting it is, he will drink it! So I find myself constantly chasing him around trying to keep him from drinking the pool water, the puddle water, the dog bowl water, the bubble bath water, and the splash pad water. He was too fast for me this time though and boy did he suffer the consequences! For over a week he developed the worst case of diarrhea he has ever had in his life and with that came the worst diaper rash of his life. We were all miserable. It killed us every time we had to change his diaper (which was multiple times per hour) because he screamed in agony and was literally shaking from the pain. I tried everything in the book to help soothe that diaper rash but nothing I did worked until the diarrhea stopped. We are SO glad that's over!!!

- He is in the stage of life where he is watching everything we do and he is learning what our routines are. When we say it is bed time or nap time, he runs to the staircase and begins racing us up the stairs. This little race also happens at bath time. When we wake up in the morning, he asks for his bottle (baba), then he runs to the living room windows because he knows that's where I am heading next to open the blinds. When he sees Josh and I talking, he wants to come talk too. When he sees Josh and I kissing, he wants to come kiss us too. He is our constant shadow and we have to be very careful around him.

-One of our biggest challenges with him being our shadow is that he wants to do whatever we do! So he now loves to unload the dishwasher and run around with the knives, open up the oven, and any other dangerous thing he can do to drive me insane throughout the day! He is climbing now so our childproofing has gotten even more creative. It is a constant challenge and we have to always be watching him because the second we aren't, you can bet that he is doing something he shouldn't.

- We started putting him in time out because saying "no" isn't working. He just repeats "no" back to us while shaking his head vigorously and then returns to doing the naughty thing we were saying no to! I have noticed the time outs working, although not as well as I would like. I have to sit there with him to keep him from escaping and at first I don't know who was more excited for that minute to pass by, him or me. He threw a fit and for those 60 seconds and I felt like I was holding a wild animal thrashing around trying to make its run for freedom. Then, once he got used to it, he started putting himself in time out! As soon as I would yell "no!" he would run to the corner and make a game out of it. Although it feels more like a game now, he has calmed down slightly and knows I mean business so I think it is working on some level.

Some moments over the month:

We try to get out of the house as much as possible so we took a trip to the mall!

At the mall, we got hungry and shared a soft pretzel. Austin ate all the salt off of it and I ate the rest ;).

The Galleria Mall has a fun indoor playground to play in!

As always, Austin ran around trying to get the other kids to play with him. Sadly none of them were interested but that didn't bother him.

He had a great time running around and playing by himself!

 

He has been driving me insane with all of his energy! The night before this picture, I was almost in tears and ready to give him away! Then, the next morning he was the perfect angel and wanted to give lots of hugs! Parenthood is such a roller coaster!

We went on a little lunch date together to Raising Canes and shared a chicken strip basket. He loved the ketchup!

I tried teaching him how to brush his teeth and he instantly became obsessed with his toothbrush! He freaked out if I tried to take it away from him so this is what he looked like all day.

He is literally a circus monkey! He likes to do tricks while standing up/balancing on his toys. It gives us a good laugh :).

He LOVES Macaroni and cheese!

He loves going for walks!

Taking a little break.

Whatever we eat, he wants to try. He is a big fruit eater!

Going on a walk with Dada.

Getting some ice cream after shopping with Mom and Dad at the mall.

He made the funniest faces but loved it at the same time! He kept begging for more!

Cuddling with his papa.

I love when it takes him a little while to wake up because he is so cuddly :).

Playing at Emmett's house. These two are so cute together!

We try so hard to read scriptures at night as a family and this is usually how it looks. Austin is EVERYWHERE and we don't get much out of the reading.

This was a rough morning and we both were exhausted by it..... it wasn't even 9:00am yet!

Why We Love to Visit Great Grandma Helm!

Today I took Austin to visit Great Grandma Helm! It was a fun filled day and he fell asleep in the car before we even made it half-way home. We started off with talking and hanging out but that didn't last long because Austin loves to get into EVERYTHING! Grandma was so proud of herself for "child proofing" the house before we got there but she had underestimated Austin's power of finding everything he shouldn't. So we decided to get out of the house and get some lunch! We went to the old Historic Boulder City Hotel. I love that place. The food is good, and the building is awesome! I was surprised that Austin actually behaved rather well! Usually when we go out, he has me so stressed out that I can't eat anything and I find myself begging to go home in my head. 

Once we got back to her house, we spent the rest of the afternoon outdoors. He still had us on our feet constantly but it was much much easier than being indoors.

This is why we love Grandma Helm:

 

She has all sorts of fun stuff to explore at her house!

She has a fun back yard.

She gets out the hose so I can play in the water outside.

WATER!!!

She plays in the water with me!

It's cold, but it feels so good! This summer heat has been killing us!

She lets me drag the sprinkler around, and put it anywhere I want on the grass.

She even cuts up watermelon for us to eat on the back porch and takes all of the seeds out for us! Now that's true love right there ;).

Grandma lets me sweep her porch!

She said I am a big helper.

Now if I could just figure out how to sweep the dirt...

She also lets me sweep her grass.

Grandma laughs every time I say, "OOOOO! What's this?!" and I say it A LOT!

Sometimes You Just Need To Cry

After getting the heartbreaking news that our baby was no longer living, I took the ultrasound picture and put it up on our refrigerator. It was a silent memento of what we had lost, the only proof we had left of our baby. It hurt to see it every day as we went about our daily lives, but I knew it would hurt so much more if we did not see it. It seemed important that we could hold onto our baby for just a little longer. I told myself I would take it down when the doctor finally pronounced that the miscarriage was complete.... that didn't happen.

Yesterday, after I had finished running and was stretching out my aching muscles while listening to some calming, thought invoking music, I decided it was time.

I honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal. I don't cry anymore. I don't tear up when I share my story. I feel okay with things.

Then, as I took the picture of my tiny baby and began to put it in a box to keep safe with all of my other sentimental keepsakes, I lost all control. The floodgates opened. My strength was gone.

By taking the only picture I had and putting it away for good, felt like I was burying my child. I never got to meet this baby, but that didn't make the thought of burying him/her any less horrific. I couldn't do it. Each time I thought I had gained some control and was about to put it in the box, the tears started again and I found myself cradling the picture once more.

I thought I had grieved. I thought I was past all of that. I had kept myself busy and plastered on a fake smile, hoping everyone believed what I was selling. "Fake it 'til you make it," right? Well, apparently I was wrong.

Since I wasn't making any progress in my goal to put the picture away, I decided to write my baby a letter, hoping that would allow me to empty my heart of the pain I was carrying. Honestly, it did. I wrote out my confusion that I couldn't be his/her Mom. I wrote out my pain that I carry deep down on a daily basis. I wrote how I hope he/she is happy in heaven and how I hope that in some small way, I was able to help him/her progress in his/her journey. Most importantly, I was able to tell my baby that I love him/her.

I could hear Austin crying in the other room, done with his nap and ready to play. But my body remained on the bedroom floor, paralyzed until the grief had passed. When I finally felt like I had expressed my heart, and said all that remained to be said, I placed the letter and the picture in the box and put it away for good.

Austin was shocked to see me when I entered his room because I looked like a scary mess. At first he wouldn't even let me pick him up. I guess my fake smile over the weeks has been pretty believable if my own son is confused.... I took him downstairs and sat on the floor with him. He then proceeded to make every attempt his little baby mind could think of to make his Momma happy. He started with bringing me his little stuffed puppy that he always wants to cuddle with when he is sad. That little thoughtful gift brought me to tears again, but this time it was tears of a different kind. Tears of gratitude that I have such a special little angel to spend my days with, while my other little angel is gone. Next he tried cheering me up by jumping up and down and making faces at me, most of which were giant gap-toothed smiles with eyes only for me. I felt the sadness melting, and a big smile of my own started showing. The final act in his repertoire was to jump on me and open his mouth as wide as he could to kiss me. At this point, I was hooked. By the kiss of a baby, I was happy again. That doesn't mean that deep down I wasn't still hurting, but I just couldn't hold out any longer. I found myself laughing.

Weekend Away

It felt like we hadn't had alone time in quite a while and we were overdue for a baby free weekend. Don't get me wrong, we love our son more than life itself! But sometimes you just have to get away!

It was wonderful.....

Grandma and Grandpa Porter slept over at our house to watch the little guy which was fine with Austin! The second Grandma walked in the door, he didn't care about Mom and Dad anymore. That made me feel much less guilty for leaving him overnight.

While Austin was busy being the center of attention and playing with his new pirate ship and wagon Grandma had bought him, Mom and Dad spent the night at the Aliante Hotel! We love that place because it is basically only locally known and is never crowded. You can hang out by the pool on your soft padded lounge chair under your huge shaded umbrella and sip on the ice water they give you in complete peace. There's no crazy drunk people around you and there is no outrageous fee to sit on the chairs or rent anything. Plus, our hotel deal came with free movie tickets and $50 in food credit! SCORE!!

We were having so much fun together without Austin that we decided to skip the movie and just be as lazy as possible. I know we sound like terrible parents but our son is 100% boy and the words relax, hang out, peaceful, or lazy are no longer in our vocabulary! Plus, the movie tickets don't have an expiration date so we can use them some other time.

So our little getaway was spent eating a large dinner at the buffet and I actually got to eat it! I kept telling Josh, "I can't tell you how amazing it feels to actually relax and enjoy this meal!" Then we dinked around with slot machines and Josh actually had really good luck! We needed to break a $20 so he randomly put it into a machine and just bet the lowest option and instantly won $18! He continued winning throughout the night and went home with more money than he came with :). We hung out in the hotel room munching on snacks and watching old episodes of That 70's Show in complete bliss. The next morning we slept in until 8:00 (that is late for us!) and went out to the pool to enjoy the early morning sun. It was so peaceful and a much nicer way to wake up than our usual. We ate breakfast at this cool little coffee shop and tried to salvage every last second of our vacation before it was time to check out. Although the trip was wonderful and we loved every second of it, I missed my baby. I tried so hard to only call and check up on him once but every time I saw another little blonde boy running around (for some reason there were A LOT of them!) I instantly grabbed my phone! Then I had to remember that this was supposed to be a vacation and put it away again. I texted my sister back and forth for a while about Austin because she too was over at our house playing with him. Then I got the vibe from Josh that I was being overly worried and stopped.

Thank you Mom and Nate for making our vacation possible! It was short, sweet, and much needed!

When we got home Austin was so happy to see us! He ran to his Dad first and then grabbed for his Momma and wouldn't let me go the rest of the night :). In that moment I realized that vacations away are great, but coming home is even better!

Mom and Dad really needed this! Don't you love Josh's bed-head? Now you know where Austin gets it!

Hanging out by the pool!

Reunited and it feels so good! Okay, he didn't come home from war or anything, but it really did feel great!

When I was texting Sadie and asking how things were going, she sent me this! Grandma tried to go to the bathroom and Austin was lost without her so he laid by the door until she came out. He does this to me EVERY DAY but usually he whines, cries, and sticks his hands under the door trying to grab me. Now do you see why I needed a break? ;)

Sadie also sent me these two pictures she had taken the last time she babysat Austin to appease me. I love this one because it looks like he is claiming his woman! haha

The staring competition.

Oh, and another little random moment I just remembered from our night:

As we were lying in bed, cuddling and watching TV, Josh looked down at me and asked, "Baby, do you think we still have that mystery and magic in our relationship that we used to have?" I thought about it and then began spouting off my thoughts and feelings on the subject. Then I looked over at him and realized HE WASN'T EVEN LISTENING!!! Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard! I guess that would be a negatory? haha no but seriously, sometimes it feels like we are so close that we are too close. Does that make any sense? I think the mystery in our relationship is pretty much gone, but the companionship is higher than it has ever been. I still feel like we are best friends and lovers, but on a much deeper level. Marriage has its ups and downs, but it is totally worth it to spend the rest of your life with "the one."

While the Cat is Away, the Mice Will Play!

Josh had been looking forward to last weekend for a long time because his best friend/coworker from Utah (Ryan Spencer) was coming to visit! They had a fun weekend planned out and I didn't want myself or Austin to interfere with their "bro time." So Austin and I went with them to a buffet dinner the night Ryan came into town and then we peaced out early the next morning. Josh and Ryan both insisted that we should stay and have fun with them but didn't argue when I reminded them that there is nothing fun about dragging a screaming 12 month old up and down the hot Las Vegas strip and there is definitely nothing less enjoyable than trying to enjoy a rock concert, or a fancy meal with a baby right next to you. I was doing them a favor and they both seemed to agree that it was a good idea. Plus, I felt that Josh really needed this weekend. He works so hard and doesn't do much for himself. When I tell him that he should, he insists that there's nothing that he needs. So I figured he deserved a wife/child free weekend to do whatever the heck those crazy guys felt like doing. Yes, I trust my husband ;).

So the boy's weekend went a little something like this:

- Sleeping in without a baby crying
- Going to bed late without a baby crying
- Eating out every meal without a child throwing food or climbing out of his high chair
- A rock concert (Journey and The Steve Miller Band)
- Walking around the strip and seeing all the crazies (Josh had plenty of outrageous stories to tell!)
- A magic show (the professional kind, not the kind you see at a child's birthday party)
- Playing basketball at the park nearby
- A little gambling (nothing crazy)
- etc. etc....

That's all I can remember. When I came home, Josh bombarded me with stories from his mini-vacation and obviously he had a great time. But my pathetic Mommy brain can only hold so much nowadays. Ryan is hilarious and we had a great time hanging out and talking with him the night we went out to dinner. The three of us stayed up til midnight just talking and laughing about the old days, the new days, and all the crazy aspects of having children.

Some pictures Josh took of the concert at Mandalay Bay.

We saw Journey in Utah and The Steve Miller Band in Laughlin, but Josh said they were so much better in Vegas!

The two University of Phoenix troublemakers reunited.

While Dad was busy having a good time, we had a little fun of our own! We went to Logandale and stayed with my parents for the weekend. Austin LOVES Grandma's house and basically I don't exist when we are there. Actually, let me rephrase that. I don't exist whenever Grandma is around anywhere! Maybe it's the lolipops and chocolate she sneaks him when I'm not looking?

Anyway, Our Dad free weekend was spent as follows:

Playing with Buster, feeding Buster his crackers when he thought no one was watching, and pulling on Buster's ears. These two are so cute together!

Playing outside with Mom and Grandma in the water

He loved playing with the hose because it gave him control over the water and who got wet.

Playing inside the box full of stuffed animals Grandma bought him when we visited Auntie Briana at the garage sale she was having (trying to raise money for a concert she and her friends will be attending).

Lots of special Auntie Bri time.

And the fish..... this kid LOVES fish! Possibly more than he loves dogs! He learned on his own how to climb up that step stool and how to get back down again.

We spent one of our days in St. George visiting Great Grandma and Grandpa Wiegel. We had a great time playing at their house, visiting the Children's Discovery Museum, eating lunch at Chuck-a-Rama, and then attempting a nap at Grandma's house which of course ended in failure. My Mom owes me $10 because she bet she could get Austin to take a nap with her. I tried explaining to her that he's not like your ordinary kid when it comes to sleeping..... or ever. For Austin to sleep, he has to have his own room, his own crib or pack-n-play, complete silence, a bottle of milk sometime prior, and he can't know that there are people playing and having fun without him. Basically, if the situation does not meet all of those requirements, he is not sleeping! Grandma tried for an hour and finally gave up. Do I know my child or what? haha. I was actually glad she tried though because it gave me a baby free hour to sit on the couch with my Grandma W. and chat. I have so much fun talking to my Grandmas. They are both so adorable!

Playing in the castle at the Children's Discovery Museum with Auntie Briana.

This was by far my favorite! You can put your kid in the padded closed off arena and let him go crazy without the ability to escape! How wonderful would this be at home?!

Austin had a ball running around, and if he fell, it didn't hurt!

In the music room doing what he does best! Making loud obnoxious noise is Austin's specialty ;).

Driving his car. He is holding onto a plastic ice cream cone. For some random reason he loved that cone and carried it with him all throughout the day.

"Don't worry Mom, I've got this!"

The fire station didn't seem to catch his eye, so after saying hello to the fire-dog, he was off to the next room!

After our fun at the museum, we went to Chuck-a-Rama for lunch and then went back to Great Grandma Wiegel's house to play the piano and talk.

This kid loves the piano! I can't wait to put him into piano lessons.